#2950 Accepting the hard truths of life

Well, after avoiding getting sick from Hubbie for the past two weeks, overnight it happened.

It got sick. I am sick.

But this is not where this story begins. The story begins almost 20 years ago, when I was reading the well-known book Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff.

Written by Richard Carlson, his series of books designed to help you stress less about everyday stuff, I consider one of the first self-help books in that genre. It started to help me see things in a different light, ever so slowly, and I was extremely saddened when many years later, I found out he had actually died suddenly on a plane flight due to a pulmonary embolism while travelling to promote his latest book. His work has been survived by his wife Kristine who continues to share and spread his messages of wisdom.

Inspired yet very heavy stuff. Over the years I annually purchased one of those daily page-a-day calendars, and a few times they were the Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff ones – themed to a different point of wisdom every day, from his life-changing books. I continued to buy different quote related ones, but it had actually been years and years and years since I had bought one of his series ones.

When I went to buy the latest daily calendar for this year – no I didn’t pick Don’t Sweat. I went in an entirely different direction, choosing to steer away from the quote calendars to something more visual. The choice was a bucket-list style holiday one, where a different part of the world (or a different activity) was shown per page, almost like a ‘save for later’ type thing, where you could save up the pics as a kind of bucket list for places you would actually like to go to one day.

What I didn’t realise as January began, was that the calendar was northern hemisphere geared… that is, its January is filled with Winter activities, kind of mute to me here in the southern hemisphere, on a 19 degree Summer’s night. 🙄

A week or so ago I was in Officeworks with baby girl, and near the registers were a bunch of discount items – including some daily calendars! They were reduced to $5 because well, January was well and truly half-gone, and nestled in between all the bargains was Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff.

I immediately grabbed it.

That visual bucket-list daily calendar is now designated to my work desk (a lower traffic area) as opposed to Don’t Sweat’s position near the kitchen.

And well, it’s working all over again.

Just today, I was thinking oh f*&king woe is me.

Look at the past year I’ve had. Sleeplessness, regressions, breast pain and continued bodily aches and pains have been part of my life since.

Every time one thing ends… another new problem presents.

Even now with my breast issues, they have seemingly resolved… and then the lower abdomen pain (from holding baby boy) started.

Then the lower back aches.

Hubbie got sick… fine, that was him.

Until I got sick.

Grrrr.

But then, the quote I read today on Carlson’s daily calendar was so appropriate it was almost scary.

It read:

Surrender to the Fact That Life Isn’t Fair

One of the mistakes many of us make is that we feel sorry for ourselves… thinking that life should be fair, or that someday it will be. It’s not and it won’t. When we make this mistake, we tend to spend a lot of time wallowing or complaining about what’s wrong with life.

SPOT ON.

This has been me to a T this past year. I’ve fallen off the gratitude bandwagon a bit, and I guess, well, I can’t be overly hard on myself either, I have had some truly challenging stuff thrown my way.

But I’ve forgotten my values and where I’m from, and in doing so become a little entitled in my way of thinking, believing I’m owed something from the Universe because of all of this hardship that’s come my way.

But the Universe don’t owe me anything.

Shit happens. Bad things happen. People get sick. This is life.

There is no fairness in life. We need to make our life for ourselves, only we attach meaning to the events and circumstances that befall us, and either I can wallow and be

“OH, NO, I AM SOOO SICK! POOR ME!”

Or I can grab a couple of tissues (or the box) blow my nose all day and get on with it.

Every time I’m brought back to who I am, I become a little more modest, a little more humble, a little more appreciative.

Thank you Richard. Your teachings still continue to motivate and inspire me. 🙏

(I’ve been trying to do the latter all day 🤧)

#2670 Absorbing my blessings

I found out some very sad news late last night.

My first acupuncturist, who I saw for a long time and only started seeing someone else when my first one moved to a different day availability, well she gave birth to a baby girl earlier this week. Sadly, stillborn.

I can’t tell you the shock and sadness that rippled through my body. Out of all people, this happened to her? Someone who has helped so many on their own journey to conceiving a child, someone who I know would have done, eaten, practised, envisioned and prepared all the right things for her pregnancy and childbirth journey… and then this.

This unimaginable sadness.

I felt physically sick. I saw via social media that a friend of hers had set up a go fund me to help them raise funds for a funeral. So many people have donated already, and it’s a bittersweet thing to realise that such deep anguish can inspire so much support and generosity.

If you’re interested in donating to a worthy cause the link is below:

https://gofund.me/96c86b97

In complete contrast to yesterday’s speed, today I went slow.

I fed baby boy in bed. I took my time. I held him longer.

When it was time for a nap, I didn’t rush him. Again, I held him longer, let him sleep on me.

I climbed into bed with baby girl, shared hugs and kisses.

I sang to baby boy. I stood above him on the change table, talking and laughing to get a reaction. He scrunched up his face and smiled back so sweetly.

I had an opportunity to have a coffee/babycino date with baby girl. I hugged her around her shoulders, brought her in close, nuzzled her neck.

We took a family selfie tonight.

I read book after book to baby boy.

I pressed my face into his head as I rocked him to sleep. My nose and lips nuzzled in, feeling his warm skin, smelling his clean baby scent. I do this often, but tonight I was so much more present.

I know I complain about this newborn stage… it’s hard. I don’t say that lightly.

But also, I know I’m blessed. Especially after thinking through the following today:

Bad things happen to good people.

BUT, I know that bad things happen to bad people as well.

The bad people are taught a lesson.

The good people learn something that they can then share, grow and inspire others with.

Because bad things can happen to anyone, it gives even more reason to be grateful. Be present, and appreciate what you have, because your life might be someone else’s dream.

Take it slow. Live in the present. Soak yourself in the beautiful moments. ❤🙏

#2491 The cold public holiday

Hubbie and I may have worked today, but come mid-afternoon when we clocked off, we made sure to act like we had been on holiday indeed.

Coffee and cake. 😬

We played Monopoly, which baby girl was OVER the moon about!

He then napped, while baby girl and I read. I actually finished a book!

And then we got really excited watching one of the traitors get banished tonight from the show of the same name… it’s getting to the pointy end!

It was cold. It was rainy. It was windy. I really didn’t care that I had to work today. But yet, doing those slow, relaxing things in the afternoon and then at night with my family…

Having a coffee break. Playing a game. Reading… it was bliss.

It slowed the afternoon right down, and reminded me that we don’t always have to be go-go-going.

We can just sit, relax, and be, be, be in the moment. 🙏💖

#2486 Fan-girling Sally

I went through some mental thought processes tonight, that I am ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN ALL MOTHERS have gone through at one stage or another, when preparing to go out on their own.

For some back story, I booked tickets to see the author Sally Hepworth weeks and weeks ago, when I found out she was literally coming to town to promote her new book, The Soulmate.

Only this week did I check my diary and dates again, and realised it was a Thursday… one of the busiest times of the week because of baby girl’s gymnastics.

So I went through the mental processes. YOU know the ones.

‘Should I just cancel?’

‘Am I going to enjoy it?’

‘Really, I haven’t even finished one of her books.’

‘Maybe I’ll go to another one of her events.’

‘It’s a busy week.’

‘I’m gonna have to move things around A LOT of I decide to go…’

‘STUFF IT, I’ll go.’

Yes, I haven’t finished one of her books, but I am in the last 100 pages of The Family Next Door right now, and let me tell you it is some good stuff. I’ve followed her on social media for a while, and just think her brand of authorship and humour is refreshing and welcome, as well as particularly entertaining.

But, for a moment there, I totally second-guessed myself… because it was too hard.

Too hard for me, or too hard for others around me? Or both?

So I dropped off baby girl at gymnastics.

I ran errands.

I then started dinner.

Left notes for Hubbie about dinner all over the place.

Brought Mister F in.

Gave Mister F food (notice I didn’t say ‘fed Mister F’ because that would require him actually eating the damn food 🙄)

Got ready.

Quickly scoffed some food down.

And then left the house!

OMG.

This is normal as a woman, and yet I know, I just know it happens everywhere, ALL THE TIME. We do something for ourselves, but in doing so we are either guilted into, or we guilt ourselves into, doing everything possible for every member of the family so that we can feel more “better” about going and having some ‘me time.’

We’re truly f*&ked in the head.

My reasons were to make Hubbie and baby girl’s lives easier. They get home after 6:30 from gymnastics, and then if he had to cook from scratch, they wouldn’t eat ’til like, 7:30pm.

Which is why I was running around like a headless chook this afternoon.

But… this story has a happy ending.

I loved the Sally talk at the local bookstore. 😍

She was entertaining, funny, insightful, generous with her time, and extremely friendly too, evidenced personally by me when I met her for the book signing!

I realised, that we don’t need to second guess ourselves so much. When we are doing something that is a passion, or spending time with people that will ultimately make us feel great, we don’t need to feel bad, or guilty, or give ourselves 1,000 jobs to balance out the ‘me time’ we end up having.

We are allowed to go out, have fun, make memories and live for ourselves and live our passion.

Next time you question yourself if you should, whether it’s worth it, whether the fam will be ok without you…

Nudge that all aside and say “f*&k it, I’m going.”

Because honestly… they WILL be.

You can thank me later.

#2463 My little reader

Well, she’s not so little anymore, but she’s still shorter than me.

For now. 😏

She loves going to the library. She actually loves the local bookshop more, but I remind her we don’t need to buy all the books, we can borrow some, you know, and then return them for more. 🤣

When we go to shopping centres, she is as fascinated with books as much as I am. She recently bought a book while out one day shopping, and read it in 3 days!

Days later, she got me to put the rest of the series on hold at our local library.

Today she found one of those books at her school library.

She’s reading it on the couch now. 🥰

She runs reading programs for her toys. She sits at the edge of her bed and reads aloud to them, her room closed, us adults shut off from her reading haven.

But I can hear her. I love it.

She is developing piles of books around the house, just like me. Her books, her local library books, and her school library books.

And then there are the school readers. 🤦‍♀️

I tell her “be careful! Don’t mix them up!”

She is ORGANISED. She won’t forget what came from where.

She knows life is too short as well. Whereas I need to know the ending, I need the closure, she will start reading something, and if she doesn’t like it, just leaves it.

I know, the horror!

But actually, I think she’s smarter than me. She knows that her time is more worthy than that.

I never intended baby girl to read like me. All I wanted was for her to appreciate stories and books, and to have fun with anything that she thought was interesting.

But she genuinely seems to enjoy it. And sadly for me, she is actually getting to read more than I am these days…

I couldn’t be prouder. 💖💖💖💖

#2430 HER book review

So you know how over on my parent blog SmikG, I do reviews, like Foodie Reviews and Book Reviews?

Yeah, well, baby girl has just had her first book review published! 😁😁

I was reading the school newsletter this afternoon. They usually have a section where a student has nominated a book to read, and does a little write-up of it. So I was reading the newsletter, kind of scanning all the sections, when a certain name popped out at me.

It was baby girl’s name. I immediately went ‘another baby girl name at her school?’ I know for a fact that she is the only one with her name there, and I know this because whenever I’ve picked her up earlier from school and have had to punch her name into the computer at the office to get a leave slip, when I type in the first 3 letters, her name is the only one that comes up.

I temporarily forgot this fact though as I looked at the name, thinking huh? But then as I read on and saw the class the student was from, I went hold on, that’s baby girl’s class!

It was her nomination, her book review!

Here it is in all of it’s glory. 🥰🥰💖💖

I LOVE IT. It made me so happy knowing she was featured this week, and also that she had won a voucher for her efforts. I was smiling and smiling and laughing, absolutely overjoyed for her.

Also, I can totally hear her talking when I read her writing, lol.

Move over SmikG, someone else has come to review town. 😂😁💖🥰

#2297 So much good stuff

I was actually at a bit of a loss as to what to write about for my gratitude today.

But then I looked around me, and saw a few things that lifted my inspiration.

Books. Let’s talk books.

I have stacks everywhere at the moment. I am preparing for ‘something,’ so my reading has gone into overdrive. I temporarily stopped reading my writer friend’s mystery novel, and went onto focusing on solely YA… young adult, my field.

I started reading these two on the same day, and without even finishing them I will probably start a third YA novel in the next few days:

They have been fantastic. Are you there, Buddha? is based in Australia, and with so many local references, you can’t help but smile. The protagonist is 13 and pubescent, so the characters are slightly younger than the type I usually read about, but still I am loving it.

Maybe We’re Electric is based in the US. It starts off as quite cryptic, mysterious, and slow reveals throughout keep the reader guessing. It’s turned in a direction I haven’t quite expected, but I’m still really keen and loving it.

I find it fascinating that out of the 8 recent YA books I borrowed from the library, the 2 I chose quite randomly to start reading (above) are both brilliant. What are those odds?

You know what those odds tell me? That there are generally, and likely, sooo many brilliant books in the world, and you just gotta start reading, start somewhere, to uncover them all.

I guess that’s a pretty good gratitude now, isn’t it? 🙏🥰📚📖

#2253 The day of rebels

I accidentally stumbled upon the perfect book to read today.

Or maybe it was my subconscious leading me in that direction. Us women work in powerful ways, don’t we?

I was trying to encourage baby girl to read to us this evening, and she just wasn’t complying – she was too tired. Poor thing, what with her responsibility-free childhood and camp days. 🙄🤣

Then she said to me “you pick the book.” I did consider some of her pug/unicorn/cat junior fiction books, but then another one popped into my mind.

The book I thought of, I’ve actually had in my possession for YEARS, waiting for the right day to start reading it with baby girl. At an age where she could start to think, appreciate, and dream about it and what it could therefore mean for her future.

As I reached for the book on my bookshelf, it hit me.

This was so perfect, it was SCARY.

It was Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls.

The book contains 100 1-page stories outlining the incredible and inspirational lives of women who have graced this earth and still do. We took turns reading two stories, and by the end of the second I had tears in my eyes.

I know, such a sook.

But one of the opening pages got me… and it got me more, because as I was leafing through, baby girl just started reading it out.

Such simple words, with so much meaning and dreaming:

“To the rebel girls of the world:

Dream bigger

Aim higher

Fight harder

And, when in doubt, remember

You are right.”

WOW. Happy International Women’s Day to all the women across the globe. 💪💖

Here’s to strong women.

May we know them.

May we be them.

May we raise them.

🙏

#2241 Our reading time

I’m currently thinking about trialling a timetable, where I schedule reading time.

Yes, you read that right. I don’t read enough, and I need to book it in like a freaking appointment. 🤦‍♀️

And while I weigh up all of my priorities, responsibilities, passions, wants, needs, and then all the other day-to-day routine stuff, I realised today that I was getting in reading time without even knowing it.

With baby girl. 💖🥰

Because she brings home classroom and library books from school, and a couple of weeks ago she brought home a Roald Dahl classic – Fantastic Mr Fox.

I read a fair bit of Roald Dahl growing up. Although one of my favourites was a classic for everybody – Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – probably my most favourite of his works was The Witches. I remember both reading the book and then watching the 1990 movie, and me and my neighbour would closely watch older women as they walked by our houses, convinced we were spotting real-life witches with supposed wigs and square feet.

That is the power of stories, of books. Although silly and irrational it may seem, it opened up our minds to imagination, wonder, curiosity, and its a memory that has stayed with me all my life.

So when Fantastic Mr Fox came home with baby girl, I had an idea.

“Let’s read it together every night.” Their library holds are 3 weeks long, so I knew if we did a couple of pages every night, here and there, we would make it.

And tonight, we did. A couple of pages and chapters read by me, and her, and also Hubbie some nights, and we closed the page on this adventurous and cheeky children’s book written by a classic author of the genre.

And rather by coincidence, in doing so, I have added another book to my list of to-be-read books.

Tick. ✅

My review of it?

Oh you know… it was Fantastic… in the most childlike way.😁

#2041 Time for Twilight

Well, if you haven’t judged me before, get ready to become Judgey Mc Judgeface.

Guess what I watched tonight, on Netflix?

Twilight.

🤭

I can’t explain it. Well I can, a little. I saw some short clips from the movies on facebook a while back, and something about it planted a seed in me.

The pale-faced, skin-shimmering, vampire teenage unrequited lust/love seed.

I read the books, A LONG time ago. And then of course there were the movies, which I can say not so sheepishly (because these end up becoming the best memories) that I hung out at the cinema with my friends at midnight, waiting for it to tick over to the next day just so we could watch the new movie as soon as it struck 12am, with like, no kidding, a thousand other girls.

The best, and funniest memories. 🤣

Now I’m saying ‘judgey,’ because I know a lot of people raise their eyebrows at stuff like Twilight. They argue, it’s not literature, it’s not well-written, and it’s just a whole lot of pained glances and pining away.

I actually don’t care. To me, it’s entertainment. I liked it back then, and I realised tonight, I actually still like it! I put it on, and even Hubbie found himself getting caught in it, saying “Shh, what did he just say?” He even remembered (yes I dragged him along back in the day) the part where Edward stops the car from slamming into Bella, before it happened… I had even forgotten that part!

🤣🤣 Oh God. I love the guy.

To me, it is YA/vampire, which I don’t mind a bit of considering the Angel fan that I am, and of course I love YA… having the he’s-so-dangerous-I-want-him-but-he’s-bad-for-me trope is a pretty strong one, let’s face it, especially in the teen department where everything is so passion-fuelled and angst-filled already, so the combo is like PWHOAR!

The Twilight series got people reading, thinking… and I think that’s a really good thing. People get sooo riled up about how appropriate or acceptable it is, when really… it’s just a book, or it’s just a movie.

You know, I like Jane Austen too? Shakespeare even? Oh the horror, how can I, how can I put them in the same blog post?!

You don’t have to read it, or watch it if you don’t want to! Fancy that newsflash.

Anyway, if you like me have just gotten some Twilight-feels, you can check it out on Netflix… Until tomorrow. Yep, all four movies finish their subscription with the service, TOMORROW.

Bloody timing. (Pardon the pun).