#1296 A new season of Self-care

Spring is the beginning of many things.

Growth. Renewal. Sunshine. Greenery.

It just so coincides with a decision I made only yesterday, on the first day of it, to do something new.

To look after myself.

I’ve been on a bit of a journey, a spiritual awakening of late. My normal awareness of mind, body and soul has skyrocketed to another level.

In turn, I come to the conclusion that, like my Mum always says “you are your own doctor.”

I am my own doctor.

We know, intuitively, what we need. No one else can really tell us that. Even if we do learn something from an ‘authority,’ really, something inside of us has been trying to tell us that all along… give us worldly signs… throw our body off-kilter so that we take notice…

Even, send us dreams.

There is always something there, something trying to get through.

It’s just whether we are allowing ourselves to listen or not.

I’m not going to do anything crazy. I just have a heightened awareness, and in order to nourish my body, in making mindful food choices and trying to be more active, I will also be doing things for my mind, and my soul.

Yoga.

Meditation.

Music – I find it so therapeutic, and I am actually going to be singing/dancing on my own for at least 5 minutes a day. TRUE STORY.

Laughter – nothing makes me happier than when I find a new comedian via youtube, and I sit there almost crying for about 5 minutes straight.

Nothing crazy. Nothing unattainable.

Most of it, free. 

I am going into this realistically. There are days I may not be able to do much on my list. I will forget and let go of those days.

Then there will be days that I smash it out of the park. Those are the days I will use as fuel to push me on and keep me going on my improvement pursuit.

Just tonight I sat down, for like 2 minutes because that is all I had, to do some yoga moves…

Baby girl found me.

And she saw the book I was working from, and wanted to do yoga too.

They actually do yoga in her class. I wish I was in prep again.

So I let her. Old me would have been slightly annoyed to have lost my ‘me time,’ but new SmikG said ‘let go’ and breathed in and out as deeply as I could.

Watching her do the ‘cat-cow’ as we both went on all fours, made me smile.

It threw me off my yoga focus… but I was laughing. Relaxed. Wasn’t that the point?

Yep. It sure is.

#1234 Themed hair, yeah yeah

Baby girl had an awesome day out today.

I swear the amount of times I’ve thought ‘if only we had this when I was a kid’ is too often to count.

I guess that is, a good thing.

Because now you see, we have hairdressing places specifically for kids – places for kids where their nerves about having their hair are calmed, places for those who require less sensory stimulation, and just a place for kids to have fun and unwind…

Ahem? Unwind? A child?

YEP.

IMAG9481

I discovered this place, literally around the corner from me, was having a themed week of haircuts for kids as part of the school holidays, and the theme this week was PJ Masks, one of baby girl’s favourite shows.

I had to book her in immediately.

But no, it wasn’t just the hair. She got her nails done, up-do, glitter hair spray, along with some other little bits and bobs which I will be talking about in a review on SmikG very soon.

Why don’t us adults get this treatment too? Sure we might get a coffee, other more exclusive salons might offer alcohol… but I want to have my own private screen too and watch Sex and the City re-runs… that ain’t too much to ask, right?

IMAG9478

Glitter hairspray anyone? Ok I’ll leave it for the little girls then.

And then of course… looking so fine, we had to stay out and show off her nails.

IMAG9502

While eating a cookie. Typical girly style. Bless. ♥

#1200 5 years

1200 posts of gratitude, a crap load on my parent blog SmikG, and it all started when… ?

Screenshot_20190529-223622

YAY! This blogging journey on WordPress started 5 years ago, and all after I read a book…

How wonderful these pages bound together in a unified spine can be 🙂

#1199 Encouraging words

It’s ALL about words lately. Whether baby girl’s funny ones or my…

3000 ones.

And it is in reference to the latter, that I am extremely grateful to those that encourage you.

I received feedback from my online tutor recently… and as I read over her comments and listened to her audio feedback with bated breath…

I soon found myself exhaling audibly.

I was content. Everything she critiqued constructively, I got. And everything she positively commented on…

I was beyond excited.

I had hope. My dream, was realised. The foundation of my story, that started in my head over 7 years ago, was recognised as worthy, visual, important, not just by me, but by a professional.

That is HUGE in my book. Of mammoth value.

Her words are echoing in my mind, and in so doing, my pen name is suddenly shining bright in flashing lights.

:):):)

 

#1197 3000 words

3000 words. It can be a lot of words, or a little, depending on the context of which they’re in.

But for me, tonight, 3000 words is a HUGE DEAL.

3000 words is my first baby, my book, my idea, my brainchild (if I am allowed to call it that) being sent out into the world for 10 complete strangers who I have never met to read and critique and shock horror RIP IT TO SHREDS.

I just hit ‘submit’ after staring at the screen for about 10 minutes.

What to note down as I posted the first 3000 words of my novel in the round 1 critique for my online course. Sure it was easy when it was others’ turns, and I opened up their word documents and commented here, there and everywhere… but it is a WHOLE NEW sensation to have to release that which you have worked on for so long, and surrender yourself to whichever comments may come you way.

It’s because your story, is of you. There is a reason why I think, people can be fascinated to find out what genre you are writing in. What characters you are exploring. What world you are bringing to life.

That is because there is a slight expectancy, that in writing contemporary fiction, it may still be somewhat based on you, as the author.

YES, and NO. Sure, parts of my life, the people I have met and the places I have been have affected me, some even to the point that they may feature, ever so slightly in what I write.

Yet at the same time, there is no relation. It is all a pure fabrication, figment of my imagination, come to life through hours of thinking and noticing and observing events around me.

And that is still, the most terrifying part. No matter how much your story is or is not based on your life, all of the ideas undisputedly, have come, from YOU.

It is all YOU. All of it. Anything shit in there – YOU.

Anything boring – YOU.

Anything uninspiring – YOU.

I felt compelled to tell them in my notes on submission tonight –

“Please be kind.”

“I have gone over this a billion times.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m terrified.”

And explain and explain and explain my story… and then I remembered something i had heard, which was that author’s aren’t there sitting on readers laps telling them about their story as it is read.

It is up to the reader to interpret. You write it… you let it go.

So I let it go.

“Hi all

Here are the first 3000 words of my YA novel.

SmikG.”

No explanations. No excuses. No expectations. Nothing at all.

Just those 3000 words.

And although I am shitting bricks at what I will receive in return…

I know that releasing these words is the first step, to making them better again.

 

#1180 Watching the world go by

I helped out in baby girl’s class this morning.

2 HOURS. Even with them singing out “Good morning SmikG” (!) making any teacher dreams I ever had come true, I still required a… something… anything… time out to pat myself on the back on this hellish say that was considered, May.

Stupid Melbourne weather.

I headed through not-very-Autumn-like winds and shivering temperatures to…

Via Boffe. We are living there lately.

I ordered a warming chai latte… the herbs darling, NOT the powder… a protein ball…

And I sat by the window.

IMAG8714

Yep. I was one of those people. The ones you spy through café windows, looking back at you all haughty and dream-like as they sip their beverages and you walk by in a rush, wishing you were in there instead.

I was that person.

I loved it. Just as nice as it is to do something for others, as I had done this morning…

So too is it good to do something, for ME.

#1142 The plan B writing course

Following rejection, it is vital to make yourself another plan.

It keeps you focused. Out of a state of funk. And it helps when it is an online course, therefore there are no maximum quotas of 2 people to fill up the room (not resentful much?!)

Today my online writing course started and I excitedly jumped aboard the introduction ship…

But, what to write?

What I wanted was to just write this:

IMAG8079

Well it was the truth. In a plain and simple nutshell. Scaling it back to basics, keeping it real… that was it. But they wanted to know more. Like where I lived, what I did, what I wanted to get out of this…

I answered some of the default questions…

F&*k it. I’ll post it for you. If you’d like to know my brief writing history background… then happy reading 🙂

IMAG8080_1