#1993 Yin energy

We need to surround ourselves with feminine energy.

As a woman, it is intrinsic to our wellbeing. To our survival. To be able to motivate ourselves, go on and go on, reach higher and further than we ever thought possible… we need to surround ourselves with yin.

But… it has to be the right yin.

Find it in your mothers, your sisters and your daughters.

Find it in your cousins, colleagues, those you meet on the street that you connect with instantly.

Those that you see and go “YES!” I feel you.

Find it in your friends. In the friends that you’ve known for so long, the ones that there is no pause for breath, the friends that can support you and help you, leaving you feeling full to the brim with love, laughter and constant memories.

Today I felt supremely lucky that amidst all this recent lockdown business, we were still able to go out and celebrate a dear friend’s baby shower.

I think we were all super excited, you know, being out of the house and socialising. 🤣

But mostly, seeing the love growing from the depths of our friend’s belly. 💖💖

See these flowers? They look fragile, pretty and at the mercy of the lightest breeze.

Yet look deeper, and you find an inner, unshakeable strength, so strong that the harshest rains, winds and heat cannot shake it.

That is yin. That is feminine energy. Going with the flow, but standing strong and proud from within.

And I know how to tell if you’re with the right yin energy, the right people.

At the end if the day, you’re asking yourself –

“When can we do this again?”

And so we did.

“When will we do this again?”

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

#1915 Holding on when it’s hard

“You gotta be tough when life gets hard. This is when you need to be strong. It’s easy when everything’s great.”

These are the words Hubbie was telling me as I lay on the couch tonight crying.

I’ve had health issues with seemingly no end in sight. And when I say no end in sight, I mean 9 months counting.

Counting.

I was having a particularly low moment tonight.

But what I did next helped insurmountably.

I talked. I spoke to Hubbie. I messaged my bestie. I messaged my sister.

I reached out. It was hard, and I was crying my eyes out as I did it, but I did it.

And it helped so, so much.

And I can say, I understand the intent of the quote “a problem shared is a problem halved.” It is. By talking about your problems with someone, the weight is lifted off of you… the issue itself moves away from you, is made a bit lesser, just by letting it out of you, and watching your words float away…

Speaking of quotes, bestie shared a great one with me.

“Before something great happens, everything falls apart.”

I feel that. I believe that. It’s just sometimes, everything gets too hard and I fall into falling apart, more than I do reminding myself that something great will come out of it.

I’m still in the first stage, but I’m waiting…

And it’s set me off to look for more quotes that will inspire me and get me out of this funk.

If you are feeling low, please:

Talk to someone.

Distract yourself with something that will make you happy, i.e. inspirational quotes.

REPEAT.

I will not be sharing this post on facebook like I do my others. Last time I shared a difficult post I had all manner of family and friends reaching out in concern, which was wonderful… but it’s also not why I do this.

I am doing this, to find gratitude in every day, no matter how hard it is. And I know how truly hard it was for me today, because I was an inch away from giving all of this up. The gratitude, the blog, everything.

But, I held on. I am HANGING ON. And this post here, is proof of that.

I am grateful to be hanging on.

Photo by Luca Nardone on Pexels.com

#1733 Day 235 of getting there: Getting out of HERE!

Today, instead of dropping off baby girl at school, then turning the car around to drive back home to sit at my desk and WORK…

I took the car, to the freeway!

Woo hoo! I was free!

Today was the first day I went outside of the 25kms since the restrictions eased. And it seemed to be one of those days, where things seemed to flow, as busy busy busy as they were.

I made my first stop at bestie’s to drop off a birthday present, because surprise surprise, it was her birthday!

I told you, FLOW.

It was so lovely to catch up, even if so briefly, and to put a smile on her face… behind the mask of course. 😉

And although the rest of the day involved stuff like car services and appointments, I got to see my family… yes! My parents, and my sister, who I haven’t seen for so long. 💖

Our minds were elsewhere, and there was much to discuss, and not even the surface of the surface was scratched, that’s how much we still have to catch up on… But to be around loved, familiar, happy faces, to feel that support and be a part of that all, was the sweetest thing ever.

So happy to be getting ‘here’ again. 😍

#1693 Day 195 of getting there: Two surprises

After a shit week, I was lucky to get a few things today, that were even better than my tulips blooming.

Bestie sent me a belated birthday present, a gorgeous mug.

It’s now my new favourite mug. And the message it gives is what I need more than ever right now. I need to feel powerful, not helpless.

My second surprise came when Hubbie got home from work. He bought me a beautiful bouquet.

I cried. Not because they were beautiful. But because of what he said.

“You’ve had a rough week.”

OMG yes. I just want to be free of fear. Healthy again. To have these scarring memories of health gone wrong, other fears, life not going how you expect… I want all of this to go away.

I need to remember, that life can be good again. I can be healthy. I can laugh, without troubling thoughts invading from my periphery of thought. I can feel EMPOWERED.

Those little mementos, from those I love, have helped me immensely today.

Their support feeds my healing. It feeds my growth. And it reminds me, I have people to lean on. 💖💖💖💖

#1662 Day 164 of getting there: soup for days

It occurred to me recently one of the benefits working from home has brought.

You get to eat soup for lunch.

Think about it. Taking soup to work is downright difficult, if not impossible.

At my old job, I did it a handful of times. It’s fine if you’re driving in… your little soup bowl, tupperware or what have you, sits at your side as you drive, fairly undisturbed as you take turn after turn.

But then you have to walk over.

Do you have a one minute walk? Two minute walk? 10 minute walk like I used to?

Tupperware or no tupperware, it can get very messy taking a container of soup in to work… the food bag (does everyone have a ‘food bag’ or is it just me?) knocking about your leg as you walk, sploshing everywhere…

Don’t even start on public transport. Oh no. I wouldn’t even TRY. Walking to the station, the train in, then entering the mass horde in the city while trying to keep your soup upright?

Noooooo.

I love making heaps of soups of winter, and I realised how many more I’ve been making, even just for myself, as I get to heat it up for lunchtime and voila…

Soup lunch AT HOME.

Mmmm.

I was feeling kinda restless this afternoon, and I realised it was because I couldn’t think of a lunch I could eat at home-work tomorrow that I was satisfied with.

So I quickly whipped one up!

I checked out my bestie’s work facebook page, Nutrilicious Dietetics. She’s been posting heaps of recipes during covid, and one that I have tried and loved was this really simple, flavoursome, yet super healthy lentil soup.

So I made it again.

And it just brings me this simple joy, that I know I get to eat this yummy, home-made soup tomorrow… it is almost making me look forward to work!

WHAT??? 😂🍲

#1657 Day 159 of getting there: dancing to the rhythm of zoom!

Forget about Friday night zoom catch-ups…

Tonight we did Friday night zoom dance WORK-OUTS!

How lucky are we to have a bestie with professional dancing experience, huh, huh? She organised a session for us, complete with warm-up, choreographed moves, and we followed her through it all… even the kids had to join in on the fun!

It was great. Nothing like a good dance in iso to remind us all of what it is our body needs, and our body wants.

And laughing at yourself with your friends is about the best way to dance to it. 😁😁😁😁

#1634 Day 136 of getting there: sweet things

It was one sweet thing after another today. 💖

I finally made the Nigella cake I’ve been meaning to make for the last two weeks. It’s a lemon polenta cake, and when I went to make it originally, I realised I was missing one key ingredient.

The POLENTA.

Fast forward to today, and I finished the deliciously sugary and citrusy dessert, eagerly waiting to dig into it for coffee time in the afternoon.

And afterwards as I went to casually check the mail… I found another sweet thing.

A sweet surprise… a letter from bestie!

But not for me. For baby girl.

😊😊😊

I showed her and she opened it, stunned, but also so happy. Her Dad helped her read it… stories about bestie and her hubbie at home, their gorgeous dog, and questions asking baby girl if she was missing school, and what her favourite song was? (That answer in itself is a whole essay!)

It was the sweetest of gestures to baby girl, and yet in some way, it probably meant a whole lot more to her parents. 💕

Coffee time came, and the cake was sickly sweet! But really moist and nom nom nom too.

I think Hubbie will be taking pieces to his work mates this week, because let’s face it, we ain’t seeing anyone else to help us with it!

But I will be sure to share the sweetness again, when this is all over.

All in all, a pretty sweet day. 😉

#1595 Day 97 of getting there: to have like-minded souls

It was wonderful that we got to see some of our dearest friends tonight.

Via Zoom, of course. 😉

We had a great chat with bestie and her hubbie via our computers. I tell you, technology is a Godsend at this phase of our lives.

You can’t be with loved ones, but by seeing them live, hearing their voices, and watching their mannerisms, in their lounge rooms, (with their pets!)… it’s the next best thing to being there with them.

After the video call was over Hubbie and I spoke about how wonderful it’d been to catch up with familiar faces, and people that we cared for. And I don’t know how it came into my mind, but I said to Hubbie “you don’t have to have the same interests. It’s not about that. It’s about finding like-minded people.”

Because we don’t all have to like the same things. Do the same things. Go to the same places. Eat the same food, or sleep the same way.

It’s about how our minds work. And you seek out people who are reflective of your morals, attitudes, and generally your way of life.

I don’t need everyone in my life to love writing. I don’t even need them to love reading. I don’t need them to love cats, yoga, the fact that I can’t stop listening to Queen at the moment…

I just need them to get me, and I want to get them.

It was a really lovely thing to contemplate, after a video call with friends who get us… as we get them.

#1530 Day 32 of getting there: raw fish and tropical fruit

Who would even think about putting those two in the same sentence?

Sushi, with mango?

It’s the most random of combinations, and it could only come from the mouth of a child, as the comedic trio of Joe, Carlo and Andrew found out when Joe’s toddler uttered the words while running rampant one day.

Sooshi mango was born. And they have given us plenty of belly-aching, toppled-over, can’t-breathe-no-more massive laughing seshes.

I love these guys. There is nothing better than spending any free time devouring the videos they’ve posted on social media, and fortunately for us all in iso, they’ve been posting A LOT more.

They always make me laugh. At the moment bestie and I tag each other in new videos that come out, but I always end up watching so many more because I just can’t help it.

They mimic the ethnic background I, and so many of my family and friends around us have grown up privy to. Our parents and grandparents, talk and have talked in this abrupt, direct, no-fuss and mixed English kind of way, and a lot of the European descendants that hail from there, can relate to the sketches in their hilarious comedy.

Did I mention they swear? Yes they swear soooo much. And in the language of the people that came before us, it is even MORE funny. Even if you have a pole up your bum when it comes to foul language, you can’t not laugh at this!

(Ok, maybe you still might have a pole up your bum, but you might end up giggling just a bit).

(If you don’t then go away). 😉

I have so many favourites… damn I just can’t choose.

Ethnic Mum Christmas food insults. OMG. I know women who act and talk like this (and even look like this!)

The Concrete.

Supermarket shopping done right at La Manna’s. Oh good God.

When Ethnics say goodbye.

Ethnic Dads in the garden.

Ethnic Dads playing cards.

Oh I just love them ALL!

Do yourself a favour and check them out their YouTube channel… or follow them on facebook and insta.

Oh what the hell. Here’s a taste.

(It took me double the time to write this post due to Sooshi Mango ‘research,’ and now I can’t stop grinning :):):) )

#1525 Day 27 of getting there: I dyed my hair, yeah yeah

So, I have NEVER coloured my hair on my own, at home, alone.

That statement suggests that I may have coloured my hair at home, but in the company of someone else… and that is totally right. Years and years ago I had bestie do it for me, before baby girl entered the picture, and I am pretty sure it was during my “save money/I can do that” phase.

But only I wasn’t actually doing it… bestie was.

Fast forward to several years later, and now Coronavirus is making me dye my hair at home, properly alone.

Let’s just stop to think about that for a moment. The isolation caused by this virus is making people look within themselves to build things, create things, change things, and be inventive in ways they never imagined they would, or could.

Although it’s not a situation anyone of us want to be in… there’s something exciting and thrilling about that thought. The thought of all of us looking within ourselves to make something in our lives happen, to make something in our lives better.

Including, hair.

Look, I love my hairdresser, and I will happily go back to them after all this is over.

But I totally smashed the hair colouring tonight.

20200418_221956

I couldn’t wait until this isolation blew over, no I sure as hell couldn’t. As it was I was scheduled for my hair appointment the weekend when the virus crisis started to peak… and so I ended up cancelling.

Regrowth and split ends galore. I could deal with the split ends indefinitely, but the regrowth was NOT TO MY LIKING AT ALL.

You know what colour I picked? Bittersweet chocolate. I told Hubbie I picked it because I liked the name and said it suited me at this phase of my life, and he said that sounded just like me, ha ha.

Things are bitter at the moment, but I always try to remain sweet.

And who doesn’t want their hair the colour of dessert?

Hair colouring night… success. 🙂