The rain started, right before the end of school bell rang.
I was already there with my umbrella, and baby girl’s. God forbid I forgot the purple unicorn umbrella with ears, oh oh oh.
I watched the rain come in fast, like sheets on an angle, getting in and behind people running through it, and even reaching people like me who thought they were safe with a nylon canopy covering their heads.
Baby girl, and the rest of the school kids emerged from their classes, bolting, and SCREAMING. They weren’t worried about the rain. They just wanted to have a good time and let everyone know it too.
Baby girl ran over to me at the low fence, throwing her bag over and doing the tricky manoeuvre she does so well and so often, as she swung her legs over it, cheating the kids who were passing normally through the school gate 50 metres away…
But only this time, she didn’t do it so well.
As she came down on the other side, she hit the unseen part of her chin against the fence.
I could tell it was a decent hit, not by looking at it, but simply by the look in her eye.
But, it was raining. We were walking fast to the car with our umbrellas, and only when we were almost there did I ask her to tilt her head up so I could see the damage.
Ouch. Blood. And a good mark.
But, I shouldn’t have told her that. 🤦♀️
There were tears. She was wiping at the cut constantly, blood always blotting onto the paper. At home I told her she must put Dettol on it… it was a wire fence after all… and she screamed, and cried, and screamed, and cried.
And I screamed, and pleaded, and screamed, and pleaded.
She touched it with her bare hands, all grotty still from school.
“No! Don’t do that! Use the Dettol!”
This went on for so long. My ears were ringing from our feverish cries. I was desperate for her to listen to me, so I could help her, while still trying to calm her nerves and assure her all would be well…
But then all of a sudden, I just broke.
I broke. I started to sob, and these felt like actual gasps of sadness escaping from my heavy heart, so terribly upset and desperate, so so desperate I was to help her, but she wouldn’t accept my help.
My heart cried, and the tears fell.
And it got her attention. Her breathing slowed, and her tears stopped falling for a moment as she looked at me, telling me it was alright.
And then she wiped a tear from the corner of my eye.
And just like that, the roles were reversed.
I don’t know why that moment has stayed with me today. To be honest the rest of the day I’ve been pretty flat and cranky.
Even though she let me dab the sore two times quickly with Dettol…
Even though I begged her to put on a band-aid, and she reluctantly agreed…
Even though it seems to be healing, and she’s now sleeping sans band-aid…
I’ve still felt heavily low and flat, and I think it has to do with my emotional outburst. Our screaming match actually traumatised me, and only a good sleep will be able to reset me, us, fully.
But that tear moment… something about it.
It almost brings another tear to my eye. 💖😪