#1410 Different tree, same love

The tree we used to put presents underneath when I was growing up was much bigger.

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It was a lot bigger than this tree. After I got married and moved out my parents downgraded to a smaller one, what with having no more kids in the house.

Despite the size, the love is still the same.

If anything, it has grown. Love has grown. Family has grown. Memories have grown. I am so grateful to have spent the day with loved ones, doing the best thing possible I can think of…

Which is sitting around a table in my parents backyard, with those that I love, relaxing in the shade and sun, music coming out of the garage stereo as we add to our memory bank and just chill and talk and eat and chill and drink and chill.

And talk.

And love.

Merry Christmas. ❤🎄

#1274 Your turn

I am stuck tonight guys…

It’s not like I am overly upset at anything… but I am tired. My flu has eased but left in its wake a terribly sore throat.

I am a bit meh. Anything I think of, I have no motivation to write of. It’s all very ho-hum like Snow White’s Dwarves… (wait a second, isn’t it hi-ho??!!)

So I hope for this blog’s sake, this plan of mine works.

If you have anything to share about which you are grateful for today, please post in the comments below.

You will save my daily gratitude blog for one day.

The more, the merrier. 🙂

GO!

11:59 pm UPDATE!

My friend saved the gratitude day on facebook!

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That’s still a nifty record, #1274 down and counting… 😁

 

 

#1252 Sawing away at negativity

Today I took out the saw. Both in the literal and metaphorical sense.

The first time it was intentional. I literally went to the garage, got out Hubbie’s saw, and took to the task of pruning old branches from my rose bushes with focus and determination. I knew what I had to do. I had been planning to do it for months. I took joy in the process.

Sawing. Cleansing. Removing the old to make way for the new. A new stage was emerging. Soon the dry leafless branches would be filled with green foliage and ravishing ruby red roses. 🌹

Tonight… again the same.

But instead I took out the saw… metaphorically.

This one wasn’t planned.

I didn’t go into it with purpose. It was something I had been kind of putting off.

But yet like the rose bushes, it was something that needed to happen.

I paused. Hesitated. Sure I knew what HAD to be done… I had known for years. I didn’t accept it though. Recently, this year I knew I had to take out the largest tool in my figurative shed, and rid myself of the negativity, the anger, the frustrations and deep-seeded hurts that had planted and manifested themselves in my body.

You would think letting go of such harmful things would be easy, favoured, wanted even… but often we hold onto our hurts, because they are so familiar. They are all we know. Sure moving on is most beneficial, but it requires starting again… and then there is forgiveness.

The thing that has struck me most about forgiveness is this: you don’t forgive for those that have hurt you… you forgive to lighten your heart, soul, mind and body, and give yourself the freedom to live your life unweighted by unnecessary hurts.

I always knew this… do you think it was easy to implement, in spite of the sadness?

No. This glass half-full gratitude girl has been struggling for YEARS.

But tonight, a change. I took little steps… and maybe the fruits of my labour won’t show themselves for a little while… they won’t sprout green leaves and red roses like my cherished flowers as soon… but there is sign of life.

Seedlings have been planted, and my saw has taken to the old ways with understanding and gentleness.

Yes, you can be gentle with a saw.

Really, there is to be no more.

Remember… do it for yourself. You are the one that matters. The saw is in your hands.

 

 

#1200 5 years

1200 posts of gratitude, a crap load on my parent blog SmikG, and it all started when… ?

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YAY! This blogging journey on WordPress started 5 years ago, and all after I read a book…

How wonderful these pages bound together in a unified spine can be 🙂

#1196 A different Saturday

Today I got a taste of things to come.

A Saturday where I had the chance to sleep in. Ahhh.

An easy and slow morning.

A kids birthday party. Where I had as much of a good time meeting and getting to know the parents as baby girl did jumping on inflatable piles of everything with her classmates.

We came home. We chilled. We got takeaway.

We put on music. We drank.

We chilled some MORE.

It was easy and it was necessary. But I am thinking of how the start to my Saturdays will be a whole lot different soon.

It can happen any day now. With no warning. We are meant to be given 4 weeks notice, but as work is still progressing through their moving interstate developments, with both good and bad things popping up to hinder/help the change, they can easily give us only 1-2 weeks notice and then pay us out the rest.

So any day.

Which makes different days like this seem closer than ever. Sure they are exciting. I am looking forward to being with baby girl and enjoying my time with her.

And perhaps for the first time in over 11 years, I don’t know, getting a job that doesn’t require me to get up at a stupid hour like 5am to drive in for at least an hour to work… and that’s only one way…

How’s about a normal 9-5 type job? 9-3 at least?

Oh that’s right. I don’t do normal.

Even greater reason then, to enjoy and feel gratitude for this most easy and normal of Saturdays…

A different Saturday, that will soon be very regular to me 🙂

#1183 My Thank You on Mother’s Day

The day started with baby girl and I in bed.

It ended with baby girl and I in bed.

The beds were different.

And much of the in-between, was frustrating and crap.

Yes. I know it was Mother’s Day.

I have one. I am one. I have the best ones, around me.

But things have just been too hard lately.

Too frustrating. Too sad. I got mad/frustrated/sad umpteen billion times today. I cried about the same amount, and said “you are f&%king kidding me” another 57 times.

There was definitely good in the day. I had really great moments, with my whole family, and tried to pay the most amount of gratitude and appreciation to my own Mum, with all she has done for me and my family in my life…

While still having, this really crappy day.

The morning started off with baby girl coming upstairs to where I was sleeping. Hubbie had already gotten up. I had instructed her clearly yesterday, several times, “do not wake me up early tomorrow, I am sleeping in… it is Mother’s day.”

She came up, and coming over to my side of the bed, tapped my shoulder (I was pretending to still be asleep) and whispered “Mama… I just wanted to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day…” before placing a gentle kiss on my cheek.

She climbed into bed with me, and it was now 8:50am. I told her to sleep. Of course we didn’t sleep.

We found ourselves soon sitting up in bed and chatting. And that was my lovely start to the day. ♥♥

Because this is a gratitude journal, I will just say –

<INSERT CRAPPY PARTS OF THE DAY HERE>

And come back to the end of the day. This time, her bed. We had literally just had an argument within the last half hour. She knew, that I was pissed. I sat on the bed as she snuggled inside the covers, but sat up when she saw my face.

I was just staring at her.

“Mama… what you wanna say?”

I sighed.

“I want to say… that no matter what happened today, Mummy has a very big thing to tell you.”

“What?”

Tears started welling up, and she was probably thinking I was going to lose it for the 1001th time that day.

“I want to thank you soooo much, for making me a Mummy.”

We hugged, and suddenly, she was crying too. She was crying because I was crying. We were both there crying and I was telling her it’s okay, and then Hubbie heard us and wanted to join the party, entering and giving us a big bear hug as we sat there, enveloped in a hug and crying into each other’s arms, but of course he was not crying, he was LAUGHING.

Typical Dad.

And that is it. If only life were as simple as the good moments, right?

But life cannot be simply reduced to just the best and happiest moments of our day.

But as I try again and again here, they can be something we try our best to focus on, the most. ♥♥♥♥

#1163 Love through a window

Often I forget how good I have it, despite my concerted daily gratitude journaling.

It happened this morning. I was at the kitchen, finally tending to the dishes that had piled up since the day before… dish after dish I washed, while Hubbie passed my immediate view from outside, off to do his put-off job of cleaning the barbeque left over from Saturday evening.

He passed me once. Twice. Three times. We smiled grandly at each other. Blew kisses. Mouthed “I love you’s.” I realised as he walked off that I was still smiling stupidly from our little gestures.

Which were big, in fact.

And that’s when it hit me – I was so lucky. I was so lucky to be in the place, the relationship, the state we were in. In love. Happy. There were people in loveless marriages. Who felt stuck. Confused. Unsatisfied. Unheard. Used. Mistreated.

I had a man who thought I was pretty cool… and likewise, I thought he was pretty awesome too.

And all of this, at the kitchen sink 🙂