The thing is, we’ve been married 15 years, together for 23 and a half, but it feels like I have known Hubbie for a lifetime and so much more.
We make each other’s days brighter, and there is no one I’d rather share my joy and woe with at the end of the day.
I love him, and he makes my world a better place.
As expected, the sun came out today, and reminded me of the beautiful day that we got married 15 years ago.
I am blessed. 🙏🩷😍🥰
We forget so easily the routines and things we used to do with our kids. With our family. The years that have passed us by.
Even myself, someone who journals online daily via this outlet, even I am sometimes blown away when a memory comes crashing back at me.
Just this afternoon baby girl reminded me how she used to ask for a snake lolly after her swimming lesson years ago (which used to be before dinner time) and how I would comply, but then she would ask for a second one, and only sometimes I allowed it, even using it as bribery like “if you muck around with x, y and z, then you can only have 1, maybe even none!” And just the memory of that time, years ago now, our Monday afternoons, running from school drop-off to swimming and then back home, the quick getting her into the shower, rushing to do dinner, washing her swim gear etc… it all came flooding back to me, and I was like…
Woah.
It also occurs to me a lot, when I compare this old life pre-baby boy, to now, the current day, not only is it crazy how different things are now that he is here, but how different baby girl is now. She is far from baby-ish – so mature, responsible, helpful, while still being a big bundle of fun for baby boy, as he absolutely adores and looks up to his big sister.
And I look at this girl who kinda was forced to grow up and get more responsible when her younger sibling came along, and I feel bad in a way, I don’t want her to not be playful or act like a child, because she still is, she’s 10. But I also can’t remember the moment or the time that she started to move away from being more of a cheeky child, to a mature one.
It all happens gradually, I get it. And I know every week/month/year brings with it even more changes, and next year our home routine will be even more crazy different to this year. And we will all be different with it. But because I am here, and this is what I do, I wanted to capture my daily stuff with baby boy/family, because I know, I can see already, I will look back at these days and say ‘I can’t believe I did that!’
So, as of April 2024:
Baby boy has his morning nap in the pram, around the block, or he falls asleep as I drive around, somewhere. He is heavy, but also I don’t want him getting used to falling asleep on us ALL THE TIME.
I count awake times all throughout the day. Currently 3hrs 45 mins, last one can be about 4.5hrs.
His main nap is getting later now due to this, so I put him in the car so he falls asleep on the way to school pick up. On days there is no school, I rock him to sleep, or when I am working, Hubbie rocks him to sleep. We also rock him to sleep at night, and yep, fun times. 🤣
His favourite foods are rice, strawberries, this peanut butter and banana loaf I make, yoghurt, and lamb!
He is hugging Iggle Piggle and Upsy Daisy all over the house, and it is the cutest thing.
Still obsessed with the 🔵🔴🟡🟣
We have gymnastics on Monday with baby girl.
We’re eating less junk food, both because baby girl prefers home-cooked meals, and because he is so young, we are trying to make baby boy’s foods healthier.
He still screams/cries in the car when he’s not happy. I wonder when it will stop? 🤣
Our Saturday nights and Sundays are still pretty low-key, but we are heading out more when there is a party or event, and as tricky as it can sometimes be, we are loving getting more social again.
Mister F isn’t getting as much love as he used to, but we are trying to involve him more, and he’s cool with baby boy, except when baby boy runs at him. 🤦♀️
Still getting up at least once a night, sometimes two or three times as baby boy goes through development or teething. I don’t mind the once a night to be honest, I hold him and once he nods off I sit on the nearby chair until I’m sure he’s asleep and put him down again. But when he wakes an hour later, then again, I’m a bit 🥱 and need Hubbie assistance. 🙏
I’m in a good place in terms of reminding myself that we finally have what we wanted for so many years, and now that this part of my life doesn’t feel like it’s ON HOLD, I’m looking at my passions and other projects again, trying to reignite that personal spark in my life and find me again, and I’m loving it, even if my ‘me time’ or ‘free time’ comes in 5 minute dribs and drabs.
Hubbie and I are in a good place, surviving less and living more, though at nights when there is excess screaming we are like “WTAF?” 🤣🤦♀️🥱
We are looking at high schools for baby girl, and I have to say I am so glad she has another full year of primary school after this one – last year was a blur with baby boy’s arrival, and if this year was her last I would be an absolute emotional train wreck.
And that is my little long post, for future me. You’re welcome. 🩷
Imagine meeting someone at two points in your life, and yet they last in your memories a lifetime.
Well that’s my aunty from overseas. She passed away overnight at the age of 88, widowed for several decades, living on the farm and working it hard, self-sufficient and self-made… with a true heart of gold.
I met her first during my first overseas holiday, when I was 13. A holiday I wasn’t too excited about (I was going to be meeting people I had never met) turned into a trip of a lifetime.
And she was part of those memories. Sleeping at her village house with my cousins, being under her roof of love and care. It’s the place where me and my cousin buried some future goals and wishes, with the hope of one day in the future reuniting to unearth our treasures from the past… that day is still coming. 🙏
It was a time of family, cousins and get-togethers, catch-ups and laughter, going through old photos, finding out old stories from the past… it was a wonderful window into the world, a different perspective of my parents life and their families, from a whole new set of eyes. And what a world it was.
When I saw her the second time, it was during my honeymoon. I was so glad that Hubbie got to meet her, got to be witness to her beautiful kindness and generosity… isn’t it always the way, that those that have little to give in the way of their simple life, want to give the most?
That was her, through and through.
So today I feel grateful and blessed that I got to meet her at all. She was on the other side of the world all these years, but will remain forever in our hearts.
RIP DK.
There are photos we take that are material – we can print them out and keep them to look back on fondly.
Then there are the photos that we live in the moment, there are no cameras to capture it, but we keep it in our minds eye to try and eternalise it forever.
The material photo from today was this sweet moment:
And the memory one was later this evening, swaying and dancing in the lounge room as I held baby boy, singing to Elvis in the background “The Wonder of You” while baby boy grinned with his little teeth showing.
The best memories evoke strong feelings, and today both the material and mind do so for me. 💙❤
We are pooped.
That’s the 6th party we’ve hosted since announcing our pregnancy a year and a half ago.
We’ve revelled in the joy, excitement and anticipation with our family and friends, not to mention the countless people that came to visit us in our home after baby boy was born.
Now, we rest.
What is left? A messy house, cut up cake, and a lifetime of memories, with promises of more to make.
This is how we do it. ❤
Happy 1st Birthday party to you, our sweet baby boy. 😘💙
Baby boy is officially 1. 💙🥰🙏🥳
I was holding him and reminiscing as the time ticked by in the early afternoon to the time he was born, and I remember giving that final push, and then the obstetrician, who had told me all along “you’re gonna tell us what the baby is” (because we were keeping the gender a surprise) asked me “SmikG, SmikG, what is it? What is it?”
And he had to repeat himself because I was over it! I wanted baby to come out, and I was tired, so tired from everything, and I was almost squinting as he was asking me…
I looked down, and I stared, a little in disbelief (there’s that term again) and I said “boy?”
With a question mark, because, was I really seeing what I was seeing? 🤣
And the obstet went “Yes!”
And I was reliving all of this in my mind today, smiling and holding baby boy, breaking out into tears from time to time, hugging and kissing him every chance I got, just so grateful to have reached the 1 year mark.
1 year! I can hardly believe it. With the constant challenges we’ve faced the last year, it felt like the longest time, every time I imagined him turning 1…
And yet here we are. I’ve made it, we’ve made it, and I know that this doesn’t mean the journey is over… why, it’s only just begun! But the hardest year, in many ways, has passed us by. 🙏
We celebrated simply at home. Hugs, walks around the house. A rose has recently sprung up in the front yard, and it’s timely to have done so at this point in time… so beautiful and sweet, a signifier of the most beautiful things in our life.
And then in the evening we went out for dinner. It was quick, it was yum, and we had a beautiful view to match.
Our outlook is bright, and I am so very grateful. 🙏💖
May our baby boy be forever happy and healthy. Thank you for choosing us sweetheart, and in your Dad’s words…
“What took you so long?” 🤣
It’s this time of year, and it will be this time of year, every year now, that has me in a state of utter disbelief and happiness.
Photo memories on my phone remind me that I was so close to meeting this new little angel this time last year.
I remember things from the big day, the pain, the anticipation, the sheer joy.
I look at him now, today. Watch him charging across the room, fall to his knees to crawl, and then get up again to try walking.
He does not give up. Just like me for all of those years.
Tonight was the first night I didn’t carry him into the bathroom for his bath… I led him with his hands, as he walked.
He is growing, and getting more curious and independent and confident, so confident! With every day, every moment.
I complain that I can’t hold him anymore because of how heavy he is – it hurts my stomach, my back.
But a few hours pass and I can’t handle it. I want to hold him. Cuddle him, nuzzle against his neck. Breathe in his sweet baby scent, his hair.
He drives us crazy so many times a day, and yet I can’t imagine him in any other way.
I rocked him to sleep tonight. I’m breaking all the rules.
I kinda don’t care.
I am still in happy disbelief at this beautiful boy that is in our lives. 🥰🙏💖💙
It’s important to:
Write down memories
Share stories
Record video
Take photos
Because one day they will paint a very vivid picture of a beautiful world you may have forgotten.
🥰💖
It’s probably the most relief you get, the day after a big occasion.
And as much as the day itself brings you so much joy, you get just as much joy living back the beautiful memories of your special day.
The first half of the day you spend with your other half, remembering tid bits, stories shared with others, dances danced, sweet and heartfelt and crazy and happy moments, all celebrated with people you love.
It’s the happiest feeling. Re-living the happy memories out loud with loved ones, or in your head as you go about your day to day.
The day after is very sweet. That’s what this life is about. Acknowledging what is important, and making the most of those moments with the people in your life who bring you joy.
I’m grateful to all those who make my memories sweet. 🙏🥰
For a while now I’ve wanted my own little Christmas tree, in my own little corner of the house.
We have one in the lounge room, baby girl has a little one in her room, and then we have Christmas decorations scattered throughout the house.
But I’ve been thinking I want one for my work desk…
The idea stuck with me, and even though we are in the last week before Christmas Day, today I received in the mail the little Christmas tree that I ordered online last week!
I happily decorated it with the sweetest things… you see, almost every year sees me get a little special bauble from one of my friends, and because they are all random and miss-matched, yet still festive, well I felt like putting them on my own personal tree kind of made sense, don’t you agree?
It’s the sweetest little Christmas tree, it holds a lot of love, and I will be looking at it tomorrow when I work from home. 🥰🎄
carcrashgratitude 