Baby girl and I were both rapt, when upon getting to her gymnastics class this evening, she had waiting for her, her own leotard!
They get made to size, and you can pick the front and back design. No surprises at all that baby girl last week chose this bright swirl of colours, with a bright pink back… and when we tried it on today before her class started?
SQUEALING! And from baby girl too!
She didn’t even want to take it off when she came home, wearing it all through dinner.
Have you ever felt that? It’s the best feeling. You just feel great… for no reason at all.
OK, so maybe that in itself goes against ALL of my gratitude seeking and searching, picking and prodding at life’s little, simple events.
But sometimes, things aren’t perfect, in fact they are far from…
But you wake up, and are in the best mood.
Well, I lie. I woke up today, and I initially felt like shit.
But then, sunshine!
The sun was out, I was cafeing it with Hubbie, and I went about my day… happy!
I questioned myself at one stage… why was I happy? I mean, was there something going on that I didn’t know about?
No! That’s the thing. There was nothing in particular that had me in such a happy-go-lucky cheerful state.
And I get it… we should feel happy, all the time, or at least try to. And we definitely shouldn’t think it is weird to feel happy, instead of sad. Sad/frustrated/angry/anxious shouldn’t be our default. It is not normal.
Nonetheless, I was happy today. I am still content. And I’ll try to remind myself, next time I wake up in a particularly glowing mood, that it isn’t weird…
I will just be grateful for it, and try to replicate it as much as I can.
Two appointments on the other side of town, visiting my parents and sister and fam in between that, and then a big writers meet-up at the end of the night back home.
It’s been a lot.
It’s been a day of a lot of things. Hope. New directions. New people. New plans.
I’m a glass half-full gal, and things are starting to feel right. That glass is filling up again.
With HOPE. 🤞
I’m going on, rambling a bit, I know. I just don’t really know where to rest my creative mind, to release these thoughts from, what to centre on when much has given me happiness today.
But I will talk about nature, because it inspires me.
Specifically, my parents and my sister’s backyard.
I used to love spending time in the backyard of my childhood home. All those memories, all those fun times, so much joy within those trees and the shady spots. I was amazed and surprised then, when I found myself loving my parents’ NEW backyard, finding beauty in little pockets of grass, verdant greenery full and lush underneath your feet, life brimming and blooming from the smallest spring of herb, to a wide-reaching leaf of a fern.
That beauty extends equally to my sister’s backyard.
I was admiring this gorgeous tree, sprouting golden Autumn leaves. We were in her backyard sitting and talking, and so many times I was accidentally witness to a yellow leaf floating easily to the ground.
Before my very eyes.
It was a magical sight.
And I realised later when I headed off, how I find beauty in both of their backyards, and how that must mean something more… for those we love, we find the beauty inherent everywhere, all around them, because they are love.
We are doing renovations at the moment… small ones, yet they will hopefully be long, beautiful and lasting.
(On us, or our backyard do you think????)
One day I hope, someone will look at our yard and see the beauty lying in wait, wanting to be found.
I’ve happily settled into a regular exercise routine.
It’s something I’ve been trying to do for a while, and yet things have kept popping up, life stuff, health stuff, that have made me put a big brake on it all.
I decided a couple of weeks ago that I couldn’t wait anymore. I wouldn’t let anything stop me. I was going to keep going, keep moving, and in doing so, move myself physically.
It doesn’t really matter what the motivation is behind my new routine. I’m not only feeling better physically, but mentally, it is really doing WONDERS.
I used to question how people could do exercise at the start of the day… didn’t it leave them spent? Tired? Unable to do anything else for the rest of the day?
But I get it now. Once you get past the initial huff and puff of the workout, the energy coursing through you becomes contagious. Addictive.
All that blood, flowing.
It awakens your senses.
You’re not even that cold – it’s like it sets you up for the day, because you’ve worked your muscles, and now you’re reaping the benefits of strength, of warmth.
There is a spring in your step.
You become motivated to get stuff done.
You motivate others, to get stuff done.
The other day when I was doing a really hard rep in my home workout, that involved a plank-type position where I had to lower my arms, and then lift myself up again… well I managed to do like 4-5, barely, before I pretty much collapsed on the yoga mat.
I took a deep breath and pushed myself up, trying to do as much as I could in the time allocated.
I had looked up, and through the window saw baby girl. She was outside, watching me. She had watched me fall.
I nodded, disgruntled, in her direction, and before I looked away to keep going, she smiled and gave me a thumbs up.
No. I was wrong. She hadn’t watched me fall.
She had watched me get back up.
And it really hit home when days later, she searched for my exercise routine on youtube.
I said “honey, those exercises are for adults! You run enough at school, don’t hurt yourself.”
And she said –
“But Mummy, I want to be strong like you.”
Oh. My heart. 💖💖💖💖
I’ve held those words so close to me. They have given me strength, hope, and courage to keep going, no matter what life throws at me.
Children model their parents’ words, their parents’ actions… their whole way of being.
It’s amazing that as I choose to do something really good for myself, I also choose it for my beautiful daughter.
(Fuck, something has to go right in my life about now…)
Excusez-moi my F bomb, but after a certain amount of time, zero Fs are given.
I walked up to my wonderful words today, to see my story come true before my very eyes.
Yes, that is me, I am breaking smikg protocol and displaying myself for all (or am I, really, am I? 😉)
I participated in a wonderful initiative last year by submitting some works towards a community project… the writers club I am part of teamed up with the local shire to get writers to create a mini fiction, no more than 6 words, on the theme of community, to be drawn and displayed along the streets of Rosebud.
Why, having my words out there for all to see? How could I miss the opportunity!
After finding out yesterday that yes, it DID happen yesterday, I headed on down with Hubbie today to pinch myself.
You know what’s funny about that photo? The sun was shining DIRECTLY on the SHINE part, but the photo didn’t show the light and dark well so I got Hubbie to like, hug me from the side so that we could block out the sun… can you see his outline? 😂
I got a little teary, I won’t lie. I’ve been longing to be published in some form for so long. And even this, on the footpath, just 6 words… it makes me so happy. It’s given me the much-needed boost I’ve needed, in the midst of life difficulty, frustration with everything, and very regular bouts of writer’s insecurity, like “am I good enough?” “my writing isn’t as good as theirs,” and “who’s going to want to read this?”
But to be published, just once,anywhere… it’s broken the spell. It’s crashed through the dam of insecurity, of doubt, and now the water is crashing down, happy and unbridled and free, and it wants to do it all.
I can just stare at that, like ALL DAY.
I will enjoy this moment, and hold on, as much as I can.
***Big thanks to @rondelle for her fabulous artwork, and @peninsulawriters along with @mornpenartsandculture for this great opportunity to try and inspire. ***
Baby girl has been hanging to be student leader since day 1.
What does the student leader do? Well they work in pairs. One girl, one boy. One pair, per week.
Then it changes.
You know, buggered if I know what they do. She mentioned emptying the compost, getting the lunch orders, I think they organise chairs, and stuff like that in class… 🤔
You know, it doesn’t REALLY sound like fun, but the fact is it gives them responsibility, and makes them feel special.
I’m surprised she didn’t remember ’til like 2 hours after school finished today, but she came to me wide-eyed, all smiley, and said –
“Mama, you might jump out of your chair.”
I held my breath, wondering if HER dreams had come true.
“You know how the student leaders are one girl, and one boy…”
“Are you the student leader?” I burst out. I was soooo happy for her. She was sad every time she mentioned missing out on the prestigious cleaning-up-after-everyone gong, and so I really wanted her to get it, just so she didn’t feel left out.
Just so she would be happy. 😄
I just want her happy.
I still don’t get what makes it so cool, but if it makes her happy, I am happy that she is happy.