#157 Genuine excitement

It’s always a great night when we get together with our best friends. Tonight we told them our big news.

Our big news. Expecting it just to be our big news. I mean we’re not stupid, self-absorbed, or jaded. It’s happening, going to happen to us, and therefore we should be most excited about it.

But no.

What we saw in their faces when Hubbie told them where we were moving, that we were going to Seachange… wow.

Excitement. Shock. Awe. Happiness. Genuine good will.

It’s a mark of a good friendship when you can be deeply and wholly happy for one another’s happiness without any hint of resentment or jealousy. And we didn’t feel anything but love tonight.

We haven’t moved yet, but still… knowing these people who are so deeply intertwined in our lives, who¬†have our back, and are encouraging us to go full steam ahead, despite the distance it will evidently cause in our visits… I’m touched.

But hey. It’s not that bad. I give it 3 years, tops. And they’ll be joining us by the bay too ūüėČ

#156 Sibling

I hope you at least have one. Some of you might have many, and that’s rad.

But I’m here to say, you don’t necessarily need, let’s say, 5 of them. It may make life that much more interesting (and frustrating at times), but all you really need is one good one.

I know, because I have one. One good one.

It’s been an interesting day. It’s been an interesting month. I know I’ve said along those lines a lot lately, but it’s true.¬†When I say that¬†something is ‘interesting,’ I usually mean one of two things:

*things have been interesting

*things have been shit.

The latter.

Today, I put baby girl down for a nap, took my cappuccino upstairs, closed the door, and called my sister.

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Sitting on the floor of our ‘crap’ room – you know the room where you put all the stuff that you want to keep, but either doesn’t belong anywhere, has no storage room for an spot in the house, or those items that you’ll just deal with eventually? (never) – leaning against a hard wooden tallboy, baby girl’s old dusty walker on one side, a huge wedding print of hubbie and I leaning against the wall staring at me, with a tower of teetering photo albums housing 1000s of photos next to it, sis and I both drank coffee on our respective ends, and purged.

I realised in the fading afternoon light, that despite our stressful circumstances and conversation, that this was good. When you have a sibling, you have someone who is like you. Someone who understands you, gets your life, gets everything around it, and importantly, gets your parents. You can’t really talk to anyone the way you do to your sibling. I have friends who I’m close to… and then there’s my sister. And I realised in that moment, not only am I so grateful to have her, and grateful to have her as my sister (another post), but I’m grateful to have a sibling.

It may sound one and the same, but it is different.

 

 

#155 Fort

We were housebound. I had no access to my car, which meant that on yet another miserable, grey and windy July day, there was not much to do.

I racked my brain. I pulled out a toy bus with wooden passengers I’d bought for baby girl about¬†a¬†month ago. We played, put blocks on its roof, pushed it around, and made her other toys fall off it when we accidentally pushed it too fast.

Lunch.

Clean up.

Washing.

What to do, what to do…

Aha!

While baby girl was watching some Mister Maker, I got 4 chairs and arranged them in a square. Threw a big blanket over the top that came down to the sides. I grabbed one of her quilted throws and placed that underneath the blanket and between the chairs, on the cold tiled floor. I placed her foam fold-out couch atop, then softened the surrounding chair legs with cushions. And then watched baby girl’s face as she discovered this makeshift house, right in the middle of the kitchen.

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She eagerly jumped inside, getting comfortable. I brought in her toy teapot and cup set, her plastic slices of cake, and we got set pretend eating and drinking in the warm surrounds of the fort.

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She was thrilled beyond words. As we sat there, silent, squished against each other as is the norm in forts, she whispered “shhh.”

We were taking in the fort more than anything, looking at each other, and smiling. It was beautiful. The close proximity to each other meant we were forced into each other’s space no matter what, but this only meant that we felt the awe, peace¬†and love we were both feeling, two-fold.

Suddenly, the day wasn’t so boring after all. It reminded me of when I used to imagine being a parent, and partaking in silly games like this. Only they aren’t silly. They’re magical. And I’ll be that parent, for as long as I can, who climbs trees and dances along to the daggy actions, who builds forts and races their child in shopping centres, who sings along with them in the car, and who does all the things that makes her children happy, even if it makes her appear, not so grown-up.

So bloody what.

Because her happiness, is my happiness too. The magic of her youth as she experiences the exciting highs and discoveries of a fun, make-believe, happy world, will make me feel like a child again. And that ain’t too bad.

#154 New tan boots

Simple and materialistic today, but I got some boots and I’m not even excited. I’m relieved.

These boots have been about, let me see… one, two, three, FOUR years in the making.

I didn’t put off their purchase for lack of anything… well kind of.

At first, I was pregnant. I thought ‘I won’t buy boots now. I’ll be practical and buy me some new shoes after baby, next Winter.’

Then, I was with new baby. And I thought ‘I have no time to go looking for freaking boots! Next Winter.’

Then, I was busy adjusting back to work, while still busy at life. ‘Boots, what boots? Next Winter.’

Then I had time, but ‘All the boots are crap? Why do they have sky-high heels or flat-arsed soles? Happy medium, anyone? Next Winter.’

Now, I was DETERMINED. And this Winter, today, I got these beauties on sale.

cognac-web-image

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful. But seriously, this thing took way too long. I should have just bought the damn boots four years ago, and gotten myself a brand new pair today. No yesterday. I’ve done the very¬†thing I never do anymore: put off any type of joy or fulfilment or happiness or satisfaction of any kind in any medium, just because I think it’s best to save it for later/a better day/a perfect scenario.

*cough (bullshit) cough.*

The moral of this story? Next time I’m preggers, I’m buying a pair of bright red super-high and shiny heels, just because.

 

#153 Playing in tents and singing to Halo

I was pretty cranky as I washed the dishes tonight, and that’s an understatement. I don’t even know why I was cranky, and thinking of what to write for my daily gratitude gave me no inspiring or enlightening moments, making me feel helpless.

And then Hubbie started mucking around. After one of my moody outbursts, he proceeded to pretend to hide from me with baby girl eagerly following suit. They peeked at me from the other side of the kitchen bench, ducking their heads low every time I looked over. These two, cheeky, encouraging, silly smiles beaming at me.

Then they decided to run to various corners and peer at me from the laundry, around the corner, and behind the kitchen table. Each time, gasping and quickly hiding in obvious glee when I caught them.

Their joy was contagious. How could I not smile? I was thinking ‘you two are the best.’

Suddenly they disappeared. Moments later, Hubbie yelling out “Mama!”¬†on behalf¬†of baby girl. I followed the voice to see movement inside baby girl’s little tent under the stairs. I poked my head in and found these two bodies squished inside. Baby girl patted the floor, telling me to hop in.

With the stereo blaring my ipod from the kitchen, that’s how the above title came to fruition. Beyonc√© came on and we were just singing out loud, squashed against each other, pushing the limits of this tiny tent with mine and Hubbie’s legs sticking out the front.

Hubbie: “What would someone think if they saw us like this right now?”

Me: “I think they’d think we’re having the best time.”

I love these moments.

#152 Almost Goodbye July

Today is July 25th, which means that we are 6 days away from seeing the arse end of this miserable month.

You can’t blame me for hating on July. I know it’s kind of against the whole point, expressing gratitude in seeing the end of something, but it really has been a whirlwind, and not the positive, holidaying in Europe kind of whirlwind. I mean the kind of whirlwind you get when you step outside into the freezing air and the wind smacks you silly and throws your hair everywhere kind of whirlwind. Throw that scenario into a dryer, and that’s exactly the kind¬†of whirlwind I mean.

It’s not just to do with the cold. Family issues, health issues, work issues, and things being turned upside down and on its head have been taking centre stage this month. Oh, and we’ve all been sick. All of us, a few times already. It sucks.

I am also rapt that with the nearing of the end of this month, it means we are over half-way through Winter! YAY! We do have a bit of an icy cold spell blasting its way through at the moment, but just think… next week, August.

Birthday month. ūüôā

That makes me feel better already.

Sayonara July.