#3002 The stage they’re at – 10.7 years and 13.2 months

Baby girl missed the cut-off last week, because well, we are all busy, and then she is busy with us as well. I felt horrible that she hadn’t been on time to register for Children’s University – an opportunity for a dozen or so primary schools only in Victoria to be a part of this program where children can foster a love of learning and engage in activities and programs outside of normal school hours, to help them earn stamps, meaning hours learned. The more they earn, the more learning they have completed, which they are then eligible to graduate (!) at a university at the end of the year – primary style of course. 🥰

Well I gave it a shot last week. I said to her, ‘why don’t I email your teacher?’ I think she was initially scared of being let down, because she didn’t want me to do it. But I said to her, the worst that will happen is they will say no, you are too late, and the best is, well, you’re in!

So I emailed on Friday afternoon. And then completely forgot about it ’til last night. Then I forgot about it again ’til this afternoon, when I got an email from one of the coordinating teachers…

She was in.

And isn’t that a lesson in giving it a crack?! I am drilling this lesson into her SO MUCH!

So happy for her to have this fun opportunity. 🩷

Meanwhile, baby boy was with me on the couch today in the evening, and I think it was his empty milk bottle that toppled off the coffee table… and on cue, he went “Uh-oh!”

LOL! I love it. Cheeky monkey learning every day. 🙏

Oh, and I’m loving this stage of couch cuddles and wrestles. He LOVES throwing himself onto soft places and so when he climbs up on the couch, we grab him, tickle him, kiss him, hug him, and he throws himself around and we cuddle and it’s the greatest feeling. 🥰💙

I love both of these very different stages with my kids. 🩷💙

#2979 Turning over

The sweetest thing, after a long day?

Coming into bed thinking your husband is sleeping, but he turns over to give you a big hug and whisper sweet words.

(I was going to call them ‘sweet nothings,’ but they’re far from nothing).🥰❤

#2960 What I love about her

Baby girl has so much spunk.

She has real character. I won’t forget her grade 1 teacher telling me how funny she was, and one of her teachers in grade 4 (two teachers shared the role last year) said she was quite the character and had real spunk.

She is in this phase where everything is “bruh” or “oof.” Especially if you try to give her a compliment. You can be trying to say the most sincerest thing, and she will interject quietly with “oof” “oof” “bruh” in her coping mechanism, trying to accept these compliments but finding it awkwardly hard.

She is 10, but she loves us so much, she needs us still, needs me still, so much. She tells off her Dad when he doesn’t follow baby boy’s routine to plan – he has taken to listening to her, true story – and regularly argues with us over everything… dinner, news, the day-to-day, EVERYTHING.

She is always correct, until proven otherwise. 🤣

But she is so sweet. She has apparently organised some little Valentine’s Day surprise for me tomorrow, something completely unexpected for me, and she regularly gives out hugs and kisses throughout the day.

She is happy to go off to bed on her own, but at the same time I still come in before I go to bed to sit by her bed for a few minutes… I must do this, even if she is sleeping.

She still has this beautiful naivety about her, something I hope to nurture and treasure as long as possible.

And she is growing in independence and maturity, making small meals for herself and following a self-prescribed daily routine.

I realise there are lots of changes happening with baby boy in such a short amount of time, but I don’t forget to look at my baby girl, and all the beautiful things that have changed, and stayed the same with her.

My sweetheart. 💖🙏

#2955 His 1st Birthday

Baby boy is officially 1. 💙🥰🙏🥳

I was holding him and reminiscing as the time ticked by in the early afternoon to the time he was born, and I remember giving that final push, and then the obstetrician, who had told me all along “you’re gonna tell us what the baby is” (because we were keeping the gender a surprise) asked me “SmikG, SmikG, what is it? What is it?”

And he had to repeat himself because I was over it! I wanted baby to come out, and I was tired, so tired from everything, and I was almost squinting as he was asking me…

I looked down, and I stared, a little in disbelief (there’s that term again) and I said “boy?”

With a question mark, because, was I really seeing what I was seeing? 🤣

And the obstet went “Yes!”

And I was reliving all of this in my mind today, smiling and holding baby boy, breaking out into tears from time to time, hugging and kissing him every chance I got, just so grateful to have reached the 1 year mark.

1 year! I can hardly believe it. With the constant challenges we’ve faced the last year, it felt like the longest time, every time I imagined him turning 1…

And yet here we are. I’ve made it, we’ve made it, and I know that this doesn’t mean the journey is over… why, it’s only just begun! But the hardest year, in many ways, has passed us by. 🙏

We celebrated simply at home. Hugs, walks around the house. A rose has recently sprung up in the front yard, and it’s timely to have done so at this point in time… so beautiful and sweet, a signifier of the most beautiful things in our life.

And then in the evening we went out for dinner. It was quick, it was yum, and we had a beautiful view to match.

Our outlook is bright, and I am so very grateful. 🙏💖

May our baby boy be forever happy and healthy. Thank you for choosing us sweetheart, and in your Dad’s words…

“What took you so long?” 🤣

#2929 Rocking him to sleep

I’ve only held him a million, or a billion, or a trillion times like that.

Holding, swaying, tapping, shushing, whispering, singing, chanting, sashaying, gliding AND rocking to sleep.

But every so often, when baby boy’s crying out for me and needs me to help him fall asleep, something happens to me. Instead of wishing these high-demand days away, wondering when I’ll have my freedom again, when he’ll be able to do this on his own…

I hold him. I cuddle him, tight. I nuzzle my face into his neck, kiss his cheeks and forehead as he falls deeper and deeper into sleep.

Cuddle. Nuzzle. Kiss. Rock.

And I imprint this moment, this time of him needing me in my head, because it all becomes so clear to me, that this won’t be forever. I know, because I used to do the same thing, long ago, with baby girl.

How things change. And how they stay the same. 🙏❤

#2798 Searching my face

It’s the sweetest thing. Baby boy will be staring at me wide-mouthed with this cheeky grin, it’s his happy/excited ‘kiss me’ face, or maybe the open mouth is his imitation of kissing me?

Either way, it’s freaking cute! He was like that today, while also searching my face, his hands grabbing at my skin, lips, nose…

Meanwhile I was going “yum yum yum yum yum!”

Eating his searching hands, eating his face, kissing him all up!

He’s just so kissable! I remember when baby girl was a baby, thinking how I had already kissed her like, a million times by the time she was a year old…

I’m well on my way again. ❤🥰😘😘

#2756 Eating him up

I eat him up. He laughs.

Baby girl eats him up. He laughs.

Hubbie eats him up. He laughs.

Baby boy is grinning from ear to ear, giggling and red-cheeked, and it just makes us want to eat him and kiss him and nibble on his chunky legs more. 😍😘❤🥰

#2670 Absorbing my blessings

I found out some very sad news late last night.

My first acupuncturist, who I saw for a long time and only started seeing someone else when my first one moved to a different day availability, well she gave birth to a baby girl earlier this week. Sadly, stillborn.

I can’t tell you the shock and sadness that rippled through my body. Out of all people, this happened to her? Someone who has helped so many on their own journey to conceiving a child, someone who I know would have done, eaten, practised, envisioned and prepared all the right things for her pregnancy and childbirth journey… and then this.

This unimaginable sadness.

I felt physically sick. I saw via social media that a friend of hers had set up a go fund me to help them raise funds for a funeral. So many people have donated already, and it’s a bittersweet thing to realise that such deep anguish can inspire so much support and generosity.

If you’re interested in donating to a worthy cause the link is below:

https://gofund.me/96c86b97

In complete contrast to yesterday’s speed, today I went slow.

I fed baby boy in bed. I took my time. I held him longer.

When it was time for a nap, I didn’t rush him. Again, I held him longer, let him sleep on me.

I climbed into bed with baby girl, shared hugs and kisses.

I sang to baby boy. I stood above him on the change table, talking and laughing to get a reaction. He scrunched up his face and smiled back so sweetly.

I had an opportunity to have a coffee/babycino date with baby girl. I hugged her around her shoulders, brought her in close, nuzzled her neck.

We took a family selfie tonight.

I read book after book to baby boy.

I pressed my face into his head as I rocked him to sleep. My nose and lips nuzzled in, feeling his warm skin, smelling his clean baby scent. I do this often, but tonight I was so much more present.

I know I complain about this newborn stage… it’s hard. I don’t say that lightly.

But also, I know I’m blessed. Especially after thinking through the following today:

Bad things happen to good people.

BUT, I know that bad things happen to bad people as well.

The bad people are taught a lesson.

The good people learn something that they can then share, grow and inspire others with.

Because bad things can happen to anyone, it gives even more reason to be grateful. Be present, and appreciate what you have, because your life might be someone else’s dream.

Take it slow. Live in the present. Soak yourself in the beautiful moments. ❤🙏

#2425 Sunset musings

The sky looked pretty and bright this evening.

I reflected a lot during the day and then at night.

I spoke out loud, my hopes, my fears. Sometimes I can’t believe where I’m at. It hit me today, a few times.

“If I am sleeping let me never wake up.”

For the most part I am one with reality, it has sunk in. But then I buy another baby outfit with baby girl, some maternity wear… she laughs at me when I look at yet another onesie, but then she too coos over a cute neutral number that boy or girl can wear.

So we buy it.

We aren’t finding out the gender. I love people guessing. I love guessing. We can make a game of it. People get awfully heated too about their opinions of how you carry, while I just laugh and laugh.

I love it.

When I was pregnant with baby girl I had one friend tell me there was no doubt I was carrying a boy – everything about my tummy pointed to that. And yet when baby girl came out, they put their hands up in defense – “you’re proof the old wives tale is wrong!”

At this rate I’m collecting more clothes than baby will wear. I’m excited. I’ve earnt the right to feel this way too.

I am still craving juice. Juice juice juice. Boost juices have replaced my coffees, and I honestly don’t even miss that caffeine.

I’m not looking just bloated anymore. There is a definite bump. My tummy is stretching constantly, moving and shifting and giving me feels I have never felt before. It makes me feel like this is the first time, though my precious baby girl who kisses my belly nearly every day is proof that it isn’t.

I look out at the waters before me. They sparkle. Spring is coming. Will baby get to step into those waters next Summer, or will they be just a tad too small?

Maybe we can hope for an Indian Summer.

It makes sense. I’m having one in my own life right now. 😉🙏🏖️🩴

#2392 Kisses all around

Baby girl on my left.

Hubbie on my right.

Kisses on my left.

Kisses on my right.

I was sandwiched in kisses tonight!

We aren’t taking for granted the fact that we can safely be around each other again… sans masks, sans 1.5 metre social distancing. We can hug, we can kiss, and we can sit right up against each other, just as we did tonight on the couch.

Feeling the love. 💞💞