I’ve learnt that so much of my parenting, so much of my mothering, is based off how my mum mothered me when I was a child.
It’s the weirdest thing. To be doing something, knowing you are doing something because of a childhood memory, and wanting to do the same.
You can’t do anything else. Especially when your own childhood is filled with such happy memories… why wouldn’t you want to follow suit?
One of the ways Mum shows her love for us is through food, and it’s something that really stands out to me in my childhood memories. Getting individually made food when I didn’t like what she and Dad were eating… getting scrambled eggs whipped up on a consistent basis as an evening snack… having my favourite meals ready and waiting for me after school.
It happens often with baby girl. She will request something, and often I will go, “ohhh, I can’t be bothered.”
But then I see my Mum’s face. I remember my childhood.
And I get to work.
Most times Hubbie shakes his head and says to baby girl “do you know how lucky you are?”
It happens even with other people around. Like baby girl’s friends.
She had a friend over for a playdate today. I had bought white bread for them yesterday, planning to make them cheese toasties (I knew they wouldn’t like our seeded variety) and so as it approached lunchtime today, I poked my head into baby girl’s room where they were and said “do you girls want me to make you some toasties?”
They looked at each other shyly, and I left them to think about it a bit.
Baby girl found me minutes later. “Mum, can you make us pasta?”
So, pasta it was. It was just simple pasta, with butter mixed through and fresh parmesan on top… and it made me happy. Knowing baby girl was happy, her friend was happy. Never mind that the requests followed quickly with “ice cream” then “zooper doopers.” 🤦♀️
But it wasn’t just the food. How my Mum raised me, her ways, her morals, her routines, they follow me around as I do my thing with baby girl, and often I don’t notice it ’til moments like these, when it’s the end of the day and I’m reflecting and looking back on it.
I give them heaps of space. I am not an eavesdropping, try-to-be-best-friend-to-your-friends and clingy Mum. I let them do their thing. I suss them out from afar, and then slowly circle in when they are more comfortable (oh my God, that’s just like my Mum!) I see my Mum giving me and my friends space back in the day, and I follow suit.
But, I think I am pretty cool. 😆 Like my Mum driving us around in the car to the movies, or the shopping centre, hooning the car a bit (safely and controlled though!) and making me and my friends shriek with laughter, so too do I think I bring a bit of fun WHEN ASKED. I was even asked to play hide and seek with them at the end of the playdate, while they searched for a great place to hide in a house I know so well!
(If you are asked to play with your kid and their friend, I think you are doing well 😉)
It’s subliminal and quite subconscious, these routines and ways that we have become so accustomed to that they soon become ours. But when they are treasured and surround happy memories, I am more than happy to keep the tradition going.
Thanks Mum. 🙏💖