#2041 Time for Twilight

Well, if you haven’t judged me before, get ready to become Judgey Mc Judgeface.

Guess what I watched tonight, on Netflix?

Twilight.

I can’t explain it. Well I can, a little. I saw some short clips from the movies on facebook a while back, and something about it planted a seed in me.

The pale-faced, skin-shimmering, vampire teenage unrequited lust/love seed.

I read the books, A LONG time ago. And then of course there were the movies, which I can say not so sheepishly (because these end up becoming the best memories) that I hung out at the cinema with my friends at midnight, waiting for it to tick over to the next day just so we could watch the new movie as soon as it struck 12am, with like, no kidding, a thousand other girls.

The best, and funniest memories. 不

Now I’m saying ‘judgey,’ because I know a lot of people raise their eyebrows at stuff like Twilight. They argue, it’s not literature, it’s not well-written, and it’s just a whole lot of pained glances and pining away.

I actually don’t care. To me, it’s entertainment. I liked it back then, and I realised tonight, I actually still like it! I put it on, and even Hubbie found himself getting caught in it, saying “Shh, what did he just say?” He even remembered (yes I dragged him along back in the day) the part where Edward stops the car from slamming into Bella, before it happened… I had even forgotten that part!

不不 Oh God. I love the guy.

To me, it is YA/vampire, which I don’t mind a bit of considering the Angel fan that I am, and of course I love YA… having the he’s-so-dangerous-I-want-him-but-he’s-bad-for-me trope is a pretty strong one, let’s face it, especially in the teen department where everything is so passion-fuelled and angst-filled already, so the combo is like PWHOAR!

The Twilight series got people reading, thinking… and I think that’s a really good thing. People get sooo riled up about how appropriate or acceptable it is, when really… it’s just a book, or it’s just a movie.

You know, I like Jane Austen too? Shakespeare even? Oh the horror, how can I, how can I put them in the same blog post?!

You don’t have to read it, or watch it if you don’t want to! Fancy that newsflash.

Anyway, if you like me have just gotten some Twilight-feels, you can check it out on Netflix… Until tomorrow. Yep, all four movies finish their subscription with the service, TOMORROW.

Bloody timing. (Pardon the pun).

#2035 Lockdown Saturday night tricks

I have a little trick to help during these lockdown-Saturday-night-party blues.

(While we pine over parties we went to in the past, and yearn for those that are yet to come).

I accidentally came across this great and super easy solution tonight, that can trick you into feeling like you are at a party. (Yes, keep reading!)

Put on music. This can be stereo, phone, record player, or like for our Saturday night tradition, YouTube.

This is great to do even if on your own since you can just keep selecting all your fave tunes, but even if in company this might be better, since the others will be selecting their own songs, and then it really will feel like a party!

Wait, that’s only half of it.

With the music still going, LOUD, start messaging people, preferably unrelated to each other… those who are reliable, who you know will respond… at least two people.

But as they say, the more the merrier.

This is what I did tonight. We had the music blasting, then on a whim I started messaging some family and friends… and before I knew it I was swivelling from one conversation to another, all while music was happening in the background…

And then lo and behold, a third group chat began, and I was like “WHO DO I TALK TO FIRST?”

And the music was so loud!

And it was so happening!

And then, it hit me… party vibes! 不

Well look, almost, not quite, but it’s the best that we’ll get, ’til we get to that super elusive, ‘there.’

#2030 A lockdown balance

You need to achieve a level of balance, EVEN in lockdown.

I didn’t realise ’til today that I too, like I said for baby girl last week, had started to withdraw. Sure, I’m eager as to have my freedoms, see my family and friends again, resume life as we were before all this happened.

But at the same time, being home all the time, has made me wanna stay home, and kinda, be up-to-date on everything.

Not even important things.

It wasn’t until today after I finished work at 3pm, that I realised my old ways. I had several things to tick off my to-do list, but given the sunshine, and my promise last week to get her out more, I instead asked baby girl “what do you wanna do?”

She wanted to have coffee and babycino on the deck.

(We don’t have furniture yet, so we just sat on the floor).

But it was actually really beautiful.

Then, still ignoring the growing pile of dishes on the sink, I asked her –

“Which park do you wanna go to?”

Well it had to be the one with the big net that she loves to climb to the top of.

Even better, I messaged her friend’s Mum, and they joined us too. The kids were running, screaming, we all stayed way too long, and when I came home…

I quickly rushed to start dinner, get the cat out, put the dishwasher on…

Ahhh. Like the good ol’ days. To hell with routine. Who needs an orderly and clean house anyway? 不

#2016 Simple laughter, simple things

I felt a familiar lockdown feeling wafting over me today as the sun shone through the window, and I set off to work from home yet again.

It was this flat, gnawing feeling of unsettledness. Of unsatisfaction.

I did my best to remind myself that all was good in my world, and even argued with some of my thoughts. I reasoned that it was lockdown blues, yet again, making their presence known.

I’ve grown to get used to their presence, and even allow them to pull up a chair at the table.

Just as I finished work, I came across a hilarious Sooshi Mango video. If you haven’t seen these guys and you’re of European descent, you MUST check them out. Anyway I watched this latest vid, gasping from breath and nearly crying, and quickly went to share it into the messenger group chat of the Sooshi Mango fan club.

Otherwise known as, me and my four friends. 不不

I had to share the joy. It was a quick share, a comment here, comment there… insert some laughing emojis, some OMGs, and all was good.

All was good in the world.

And it had me thinking… how lovely it is that I have this group with my friends, where we just come and go, drop in random stuff about our lives, share memes and jokes and more personal stuff, and some of us comment, some of us don’t, but you know what?

It’s all ok. We move on. We don’t take it personally.

You know those people where you feel as if you are walking on eggshells constantly? You need to watch what you say, how you say it, and then you need to check in, ALL THE TIME. If you haven’t spoken to them, you need to justify why, and I HATE justifying.

Like, life, that’s why.

That’s what I love about this messenger group we have, and that’s why I love my friends. We are bloody mature people. There are no freaking games and bullshit.

We drop in, we laugh, we comment.

We move on.

And then the next day/week, we pop in again, and it’s like the conversation never ended.

I was thinking all of this, feeling super proud of us, and then I realised…

I had a lot more to be grateful for than I first thought.

Those lockdown blues, I chased them away. 弘

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

#2012 Still sunny day out

What a gloriously sunny Winter’s day it was today.

I was feeling a bit off, but come work-from-home knock-off time, after baby girl and I did our new routine of watching Friends with our coffee and babycino – yes, my 8-year-old (8!) is actually getting through the entire series of Friends! – we decided to go for a slow, leisurely walk around the block.

We found a basket of lemons, even though the sign said limes… maybe they were all out? And it was truly beautiful, being in the moment and just wandering through the still, sunny afternoon, hand in hand, talking about whatever floated into our minds.

I continued the slow and steady at home when I took a mag I bought recently to the balcony, to indulge in some more ‘me’ relaxation time.

Even on those days when you feel a little less than yourself, doing these small, therapeutic things can make the world of difference.

#2009 Feeling the birthday love

I felt truly blessed today.

Another lockdown birthday, and yet the surprises, presents, messages, phone calls, serenades and dedications kept me warm and fuzzy from all winter colds and extended lockdown news, keeping me so busy I could barely keep up all day.

But it was even better, because I celebrated it all, times two.

Baby girl and I share our birthdays on the same day. We did what we could, walked the almost empty streets, ate lunch by the water in our cars, and got some takeaway cake, ice cream and coffee.

It was a super splendid day, and you know what?

At a time when things have felt really super shit, I’ve questioned a lot, felt withdrawn and upset by lots in life… this is what I needed. A day where I really truly, felt the love.

I felt it all, and it was so warm, so caring, so welcoming. I was truly humbled to tears.

I know, no matter what life throws at me, there are people out there who care about me.

And that matters more than anything.

Reach out to those around you, let them know how you feel. You don’t even have to wait for their birthday… you may not know how much they need to hear your beautiful words.

#2008 Birthday park fun

Lockdowns in both birthday seasons.

You know what I said today?

STUFF IT.

We took a whole lot of doughnuts to the park today. Baby girl bumped into some school friends. The wind was breezy, but that sun was adamant.

I like when it’s adamant. So was I today.

What was left!

She was a very lucky girl. We spoiled her as much as we could, and it’s not even her birthday yet…

So often in life you gotta make the most of what you’ve got, and so far we’re trying, man we’re trying.

So much pink, LOVE it.

#1993 Yin energy

We need to surround ourselves with feminine energy.

As a woman, it is intrinsic to our wellbeing. To our survival. To be able to motivate ourselves, go on and go on, reach higher and further than we ever thought possible… we need to surround ourselves with yin.

But… it has to be the right yin.

Find it in your mothers, your sisters and your daughters.

Find it in your cousins, colleagues, those you meet on the street that you connect with instantly.

Those that you see and go “YES!” I feel you.

Find it in your friends. In the friends that you’ve known for so long, the ones that there is no pause for breath, the friends that can support you and help you, leaving you feeling full to the brim with love, laughter and constant memories.

Today I felt supremely lucky that amidst all this recent lockdown business, we were still able to go out and celebrate a dear friend’s baby shower.

I think we were all super excited, you know, being out of the house and socialising. 不

But mostly, seeing the love growing from the depths of our friend’s belly.

See these flowers? They look fragile, pretty and at the mercy of the lightest breeze.

Yet look deeper, and you find an inner, unshakeable strength, so strong that the harshest rains, winds and heat cannot shake it.

That is yin. That is feminine energy. Going with the flow, but standing strong and proud from within.

And I know how to tell if you’re with the right yin energy, the right people.

At the end if the day, you’re asking yourself –

“When can we do this again?”

And so we did.

“When will we do this again?”

弘弘弘弘弘弘

#1968 The movie-pancake tradition lives on

When I see something like this…

So many memories and people come to mind. I think of catch-ups with my friends, where we’d meet for sweet things and laugh wildly when we all ordered ‘The Hot Ball.’

I think of Hubbie and I in our pre-wedding days. I even had a delicious stack the day before my waters spontaneously broke with baby girl, so any pregnant ladies-to-be can take that to mean you might go into labour if you eat some of their pancakes* (not professional medical advice!)

But mostly, when I see this image, I think of my sister and me.

From as young as I can remember, she would take me to the movies when I was a kid, and then naturally, a visit to The Pancake Parlour would follow.

We would talk about the movie we’d seen, what we loved, and our conversation would naturally flow to everything else in our lives, as these things do when you’re with someone you love and feel so at ease with.

And we would eat, something sweet.

The joke goes that she would be finished with her dessert, and I would be barely half-way through, talking while eating so slowly, scooping the ice cream from the bowl like I had all the time in the world.

We were super lucky today, as baby girl and I got spoiled by my sister for a movie date! The special surprise was my nephew, baby girl’s ‘bestie’ coming along for the day, and we all headed to the cinemas to watch the very sweet Spirit Untamed movie.

But, there was a further surprise after it!

OF COURSE! Pancakes.

The tradition lives on.

And even better, we could enjoy it with our kids, and engage in some fun and especially beautiful bonding time.

Guess what? Things haven’t changed much.

Sister finished first again.

I came in about third, or equal second…

And baby girl hasn’t fallen far from the tree. She hasn’t fallen far, at all.

That is all. 不不

#1953 One of my fave Winter days

Today is one of my favourite Winter days.

June 21st.

It sits nicely amongst other fave Winter days, and the unifying theme is all about hope. Hope, and happiness.

So, what are my fave Winter days? I never thought you’d ask.

June 1st is first. There is so much dread and anxiety approaching the coldest season of the year, that honestly having the day tick over to Winter is a RELIEF. The waiting is over, and most of the time, it ain’t that bad.

And also, this year was really not that bad at all. You know what’s bad? Covid, and LOCKDOWNS. But Winter? Nah. Chuck on a jacket and go outside with your freedom.

June 10th. This is my sister’s birthday, and so it comes to reason I love it because she’s one of my favourite people.

The end of June is great. We are a month down of Winter! July 15th is a similar reason, in that it’s halfway through Winter, and then end of July, we’re two months done peeps! I consider August HALF-Winter, LOL.

And speaking of August, there is mine and baby girl’s birthdays, including that of everyone I know in my life, pretty much, almost. And I say time and time again, come our birthday, and Spring is in the air, I SWEAR. I will fight this to the end guys.

So, what’s so spesh about June 21st?

Two things, really. Kinda three.

Our engagement anniversary. 13 years ago we had a terrific celebration where our families and friends united for one amazing, joy-filled, hopeful night. Full of happiness, dance, laughter, and great memories.

The second reason is it’s the Winter solstice. The shortest day of the year! So from here on out, the days will incrementally start getting longer, oh-so-small at first but it will be there.

An aside from the Winter solstice is the meaning behind it. Our number three. The spiritual significance of the day has to do with the dark making way for the increasing lighter days, with renewal and rebirth both major themes.

I absolutely love this, and so every year I look forward to it with excitement.

I was lucky in that I had the opportunity to engage in self-care on such a day, a day when your intentions and what you put out into the Universe is paramount. I walked, I worked out. I had coffee, made a warm breakfast. I read, I wrote, I sat in the sun, and I also chilled, like watched TV, so, so peacefully.

It is a day of hope, of promise, and after losing a lot of hope for so long, I am feeling like I am starting, very slowly, to gain it back.

And this winter solstice is therefore so timely.