Today Hubbie and I had the rare luxury of heading to the shops together,without baby girl! I may sound horribly evil at the amusement of leaving her at kinder while we went to do so, but when you are a parent and have lived through the hardships of completing any shopping at all, let alone personal shopping when child/baby is in tow, well then you will understand my delight.
He bought a linen white shirt for beach days.
I bought a couple of tops.
And then I also bought these:
I was really inspired when I picked up the Rebel Girls book. My first thought was to buy it later on, when baby girl was like 5 or 6 and could actually understand the stories more when I read them to her at bedtime, but then Hubbie was like “buy it now and just keep it!” and of course that was all the ammo I didn’t need to change my mind.
I even read a couple of entries on some of the influential and inspirational women when I got home, those of Jane Austen and the Williams sisters, and they blew ME away. I think this bedtime storybook is suitable for women of ALL AGES, not just young girls (and that’s my thoughts before I’ve even reviewed it!)
And the other book? Well it was timely that a book about things going wrong and not giving a flying f&^k when they do so, would pass before my eyes the day after I posted about birth-days not going to plan. I’m all very ‘think positive’ and ‘look at the brighter side of life,’ yet found freedom and relief in the premise of a book that was telling me to JUST NOT CARE.
I’ll let you know how I go. I’m grateful for it all, nonetheless.
Most Fridays we have the MIL with us, which makes for light-hearted, event and people based chit-chat.
“How are these people going?”
“How was work?”
“What are the weekend plans?”
“What will you do on Sunday?”
“Did you hear about that?”
and so on.
Tonight however, it was just US – baby girl, hubbie and I. And quite surprisingly and happily, we started to get into it.
He dropped some surprising statements, which had me slightly reeling – just from the sheer unpredictability of it ever being said.
“What? Are you serious? Seriously, I feel like I don’t know you.”
All good, and nothing bad. Just different, and eye-opening. We got into some d&m, and you know the convo has gone deep and fulfilling, when the dinner sit-down has long passed the eaten food that has come and gone before it.
“Well if I do this, with your talent here, and my knowledge there, we could both – “
Now I was reeling, again. I know this is a whole lot of blah blah blah to the rest of the world, but after our talk I had the most profound sense of I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO EXPECT FROM LIFE.
We always talk about living life to the full, and cramming as much experience and fun and passion into what we have been given here on earth, yet still, for a man that I know so, so well,he had me absolutely stunned and baffled.
And as I dwelled on it, I realised I loved it.
I’m not a person to stay stagnant, and remain in the same role or field for the rest of my life. And seeing that he is the same, and just like me is open to new and exciting experiences, if only to explore and see where the open doors lead him, well that is equally exciting to watch and be a part of.
I love that we are passionate, we know what we love, but also, we love to keep things exciting, fresh, and moving on.
To be inspired by the man in your life, and find even greater motivation to love him, well…
that is something I am eternally grateful for.
And all from a Friday night convo. All good things come from Fridays…
Anyone who would have seen Hubbie galloping alongside baby girl this afternoon in a playful fashion, laughing excitedly as we all headed hungrily towards the Westfield Doncaster glammed-up food court, would not for a moment have guessed that less than an hour earlier, he was receiving not-so-favourable news.
It wasn’t good news.
You see, he had seen an Endodontist this morning, and had been told that the front tooth he was experiencing some sensitivity with, this tooth that had been hit in a basketball game over a decade earlier, was slowly dying from the root, and his body had been slowly rejecting it all this time.
The tooth, could not be saved. It had to be removed, a denture put in for a while, and then eventually a false tooth to be permanently drilled into his gum.
All for a fair bit of $$$.
As he laughed alongside baby girl, I observed them and you couldn’t really tell who was sillier, who was more childlike of the two. I had to wonder ‘had he just been given bad news?’
Yes, he had. And yet he turned the day around, accepted it for what it was, and despite the knowledge of what was ahead, and the realisation that he could not save his damaged tooth as he had hoped, he looked at the positive and moved forward.
So we had a delicious Schnitz lunch.
We splurged on some clothes from Dangerfield – hisandhers.
We had some coffee and cake at Zumbo café – sharing a cronut, and taking no heed of the advice from the Endodontist that sugar can rot your teeth in as little as half an hour after eating it, and that no, brushing your teeth twice a day does apparently jack sh*t towards preventing decay. Yay.
And then later at home, we got some pizza for dinner, danced with baby girl around the kitchen to Wiggles songs (that could have been a gratitude post in itself) and then drank red wine and ate some more doughnuts (you only live once, so screw advice)
It was a great day, and we had a lot of fun.
I feel especially lucky and fortunate to have a man like Hubbie by my side. It wasn’t me instigating the turn around of negative to positive energies today. It was him. ALL him. He was certainly dismayed by the news, and it WAS NOT what he was hoping to hear, at all. But having gone through some serious, heavy shit these last few years, he knew, that in comparison, this was a pebble drop into a pond compared to some boulders he’s seen smash through the smooth surface of pristine waters.
His attitude shift and positivity inspire me, and the fact that he turned something bad, into good, is kind of the point of this blog, isn’t it?
She’s not only my baby girl. She’s my dancing girl.
She loves music. It makes me so happy, I can’t even express how much. Not only because both Hubbie and I love our music and a good partay, but there was a time when I was seriously worried that my unborn child would be affected by the stress in our life back when I was pregnant. I was worried that the trauma would bring her into the world a scared, angry, affected child.
I am so grateful that nothing can be further from the truth.
The last few days she has been spontaneously dancing and clapping to Prince in the car, and calling out to us if we don’t join in. She runs up to the stereo speaker each night and points, telling us to put on the music so that she can dance. When we do, she jumps around wildly, waves her arms about in a ‘come on!’ motion, and just goes crazy. We look at her like ‘what are you on? Can we have it too?’ before joining in on her shenanigans and turning the kitchen space into a dancefloor.
And even when she had the cold (and she still is getting over an annoying nose – blocked vs runny) she still has the energy and willpower to run into the room screaming with joy when she hears the music come on.
She is our inspiration. I want to be like her when I grow up.
Today I visited my parents. Dad has been having some health issues lately – nothing major, but then I guess it depends on what you’re focusing on – but enough to stress him out a fair bit.
Things have been up and down, but it looks as if things might (fingers crossed) be balancing out for him. There seems to be a bit more up in amongst the down.
As we were warming ourselves beside their wall heater, I remembered something that I felt was important to remind him, especially at this time of year.
“Dad, don’t let the cold weather affect you, and make you more upset or frustrated. It affects everyone, not just you. Don’t get caught up in it.”
What I was trying to say nicely was, ‘Don’t let it affect you any more than you are already frustrated, and don’t let it add to your existing woes.’ I had said something similar to someone else who was going through a difficult time for this time of year, because in her case being alone, and cold at home, can be a horrible and unwelcome combination.
He smiled, and said:
“I know that behind the clouds, there is sun.”
And his smile was shining like that beacon of light.
I was so happy to hear him say those words. He is usually the one a bit more likely to complain or point out something wrong, while I try to shift his thinking to the positive… now he was inspiring me!
Oh man. Those words have stayed with me all day. I’m inspired by them, but I’m also grateful for them. Because if he’s saying that, then things must be on the upside. I can feel it in the cold and wintry air. It’s a-coming.
I will be doing something, anything, usually something routine like walking to the park, having a coffee, or driving in the car, and it is this habitual act where my mind wanders and I observe something, or think of someone, and a sentence and descriptions form that I believe would make a great line in one of my novels, somewhere. I may not know where to put it yet, it may not even have a purpose for the current book I’m working on, but just the act of writing it down makes me feel good. I write down all of these random one-liners, about things, people, and also nature, in a book, content and hopeful that one day I will find a great home for them in my writings.
Today I saw something in the distance while driving. The clouds up ahead were so distinct, so large and looming, that the sight made them almost look like mountains. Immediately a scene formed, and words sprung forth in my mind:
The large clouds rose up into the horizon like mountains, in stark contrast to the spotless sky above.
Hours later, as I’ve been going about my business and thinking about what to write for the ‘Y’ of the day, I remembered a word: yonder.
Yonder means ‘over there,’ ‘in sight but distant.’ I recalled my random scene describer of the mountainous clouds (just made up a word I think) being over there, and applied it.
The large clouds rose up like mountains in the yonder, in stark contrast to the spotless sky above.
It made me LOL a little. I still prefer my original, but I am grateful for the inspired thoughts I have. I’m grateful when I get them here. And I’m grateful when I get them yonder.
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby
‘Cuz in this life
Things are much harder than in the afterworld
In this life
You’re on your own
And if the elevator tries to break you down – GO CRAZY!
(Punch a higher floor!)…”
This is one of my many, many favourite passages from one of my many, many favourite Prince songs. In particular the parts above about “electric word life” and ‘going crazy’ if the elevator tries to break you down, speak to me on a personal level.
Prince was, is and forever will be a musical genius: I don’t think many could argue that. He was a risk-taker and a rule-breaker, transforming stereotypes and ideals and turning the whole music genre upside down as he self-taught himself to play instruments, played the guitar with electricity and made sex of rnb and blues.
I feel awfully lucky to have grown up in the Prince era. It actually blows my mind that I am one of the lucky ones to have lived in the time of his living, too. I was influenced by him by first listening to my sister listen to him in her teenage years, and then grew to appreciate him on my own terms. Despite attending high school in the tail end of the 90s, his songs were a background to those uncertain and hormone-fuelled days. So many of his songs are number 1s in the soundtrack of my life. Bestie and I had an ongoing joke that we still refer to this day, which included his “Purple Rain,” while his other hits like “When Doves Cry,” “Kiss,” “Erotic City” and “Cream” all provided plenty of ammunition in that era of teen-angst and lust. I actually danced to “1999” at midnight with my cousins as we brought that year in! How many people can say they did that?! I feel honoured.
To this day, the background wallpaper on my phone contains the words ‘Electric,’ ‘Dance’ and ‘Rhythm of ur soul,’ images I took on my phone from the program I bought from his 2012 concert in Melbourne. When I think of how back then I toyed with the idea of going to his concert or not, I feel like slapping myself. And it was only because of money. The only seats we could get were at the very back row, and I wondered whether it was worth paying such coin when we would be so far from the action.
Best decision ever. It was a hazy photo from where we were and also from my half-decent camera back then, but you can see the man himself on his signature stage on the bottom. This ended up being one of the best concerts I’ve been to. He played at Rod Laver Arena, and anyone who has been there knows that you get a pretty good view there, no matter where you are, even at the back.
I learnt that very big lesson that night.
He played classics. He tore up the guitar, as he always does, but to see him in action like that… oh man. He was a true musician on stage, and I got emotional as he sang songs that held so much meaning to me, songs that I had grown up with and that each held a story in the journey of my life: “Purple Rain,” “When Doves Cry” and “Let’s Go Crazy;” he gave nods to songs he wrote for other artists “Love, Thy Will be Done;” and he experimented with other artists by doing some Beyonce, with “Single Ladies.” I remember the crowd roared with insanity when he chose to cover that. He didn’t play one of my all time faves, the song titled in this post, yet it was still one incredible night, where the realisation dawned on me early on that something unusual, something magical, something out of this world was happening in that room. It was medley after medley, one huge dance party, and I remembered walking away like “Phew, thank God I got tickets!”
I’m usually reinvigorated by an artist and respect them that much more after seeing a live show of theirs. After seeing Prince, he was the biggest 180 degree-shifter for me, as he changed my perception of him, of things in general, of creativity and dreams, of life, and in particular his music, after that extraordinary May day in 2012. His musical genius and creative flair, his quirkiness and quiet confidence to live life his own way impacted me greatly. I would listen to his Purple Rain album, again and again. I fell in love with songs like ‘The Beautiful Ones,’ ‘Darling Nikki’ and ‘I Would Die For You.’ I heard the grunt and strain as he screamed the words, wanting to go as high and low as he did. I wanted to feel how he did, and when he sang, I really did. I felt the passion. I felt the dedication to the song, the music, the experience. It was transformative. Prince did things his way, and he did it with loyalty to the music. He was a success because he forged his own path, and he didn’t give two fucks about anyone who didn’t like him. THAT, is what everyone would like to do, only too many are scared to follow through. THAT, is one of the reasons why he was so revered.
This morning I was in the kitchen getting things ready for brekkie before baby girl got up. I had the TV on in the background, and as I went to get milk out of the fridge, I glanced at the TV in the other room. I saw an image of Prince as I turned to walk away, but a combination of curiosity and trepidation had me turn around and go back to the TV, where I gasped in horror as I saw the damn dash. That fucking dash.
1958 – 2016.
“No!” I stayed glued to the TV for the next 15 minutes, coming to terms with the fact that a man, a genius of 57 years (so, so young) was now dead. Gone. It just couldn’t be.
I’m still in shock, but the information has started to slowly sink in. With it too, that the world will never see another like him. That is simply, devastating. I know there are incredible artists out there, but to have the flair and style and flamboyancy, creativity and sex appeal and ability to get away with it all while producing creating acting singing dancing and playing guitar better than anyone EVER… will there ever be another Prince? No. And there shouldn’t be.
R.I.P Prince. Baby, You’re a Star.
“…Take Me Away!”
(An unbelievable introduction to this performer is found in this article following his 2012 concert in Melbourne)
I had to write about Prince today, and him being the Star that he is, I don’t think anyone can argue my crafty ‘S’ for that reason. I am so grateful to this Star, this genius, this musical prodigy, for the joy he has given me with his music and the inspiration he has fuelled me with in my own creative endeavours.
I have been listening to Prince all night now, and though I have shed tears, reading the metaphorical content between his words and finding they sting all the more now that he’s gone (“I may not know where I’m going babe” in The Beautiful Ones) it has been a dance party in this house as we have torn up the kitchen floor yet again. I’ll make sure his music lives on through baby girl. In fact, I think it will live on, regardless. Music offers that, in that it crosses barriers of gender, class, politics, and time. There’s a kind of beauty in that. Through his music, he will live forever.
And that just gives me hope, and another reason to be so utterly grateful.