Tending to friendships, and tending to roses, is much the same.
Your approach to the task, and the love you give to both, give you comparable results.
When you water your roses, provide them with ample sunlight and food for nourishment… they BLOOM.
Likewise with friendships. If you tend to them, pay attention and visit often, spending your time with them even at the inconvenience of other things… it will pay dividends.
You will have made yourself, a friend.
Today I visited a friend. A work colleague who is currently on maternity leave with her adorable 3 month-old son.
Oh what a gorgeous chubby-cheeked stage he is at.
It had required some effort and planning to make it work as she lives an hour away from me, but alas with both of us throwing up possible dates and times, we finally decided on today. I could stop by on my own after dropping off baby girl at kinder, and we’d have a couple of hours together before I had to go back to pick her up.
I didn’t give that much thought. Until her partner spoke up.
He had asked me where I had come from, and when I said my suburb, he piped up –
“All the way from there?” He turned to my work colleague. “That’s a great friend! Oh, I’m just passing Victoria…” we all had a chuckle and then the subject passed.
But those words stayed in my mind.
“You’re a great friend.”
Without wanting to blow my own horn… I had to agree with him.
You know there are days when you doubt yourself and your abilities, and taking a compliment is something akin to dragging your knees crawling across asphalt.
But in the kindest and most humblest of ways… I am.
I AM a great friend. When I see someone open up to me, trust me with their heart, their secrets and give me loyalty in every sense of the friendship term… I give it back.
When I see someone try with me, make effort in my life, and want to be present in it… I embrace them wholeheartedly and put them firmly in my circle.
When I find a kindred spirit, a like mind, someone who is honest and free and just wants to make the best and most positive time out of life… I hold on tight to them.
As long as they are as willing as I am, I will be there for them, always.
I give as much as I take. I will go to depths and reaches for a friend, to support them and to stay by their side through thick and thin.
And if they don’t appreciate me, or they take my friendship for granted… well that is not my loss, only theirs.
Today, it was the nicest compliment I have received lately. And after much pondering, I took it.
I looked at my roses this afternoon, observing them after I had come home with baby girl from kinder pick-up. I had spent as much time on the road driving up and then back to my side of town, as I had with my friend meeting her little bub.
But like my roses, I had to give her time. I had to give her attention. I had to give her goodwill and love, and then, like my roses, our friendship grew more.
But the key thing about friendship as well: you shouldn’t HAVE TO. You should want to.
And I really wanted to.
And when you give your roses all the food, water and sunlight that they need, when you tend to them and prune them and even spend time staring at them and smelling their sweet scents…
It makes them all the more prepared for the storms. For the rain. For the wind, and for the hellish weather that can sometimes unleash on their pretty petals.
And you will know that you have prepared them well, when they are still standing after it all.
Take a page out of my book. We beat ourselves up too often. What is a lovely thing you can say about yourself? What are you best at, and what makes you an amazing person? ♥♥♥