#993 Throwback coffee

Months ago I went off my usual Saturday work coffee place.

That’s partly to do with

a) their cappuccinos becoming terribly inconsistent, and

b) tagging along with my colleague who went to another cafe… whose coffee was far superior.

I didn’t go back to my old haunt ‘til today.

I was on that side of the road, rather than the ‘across the road,’ opposition’s side, and thought –

“What the hell.”

(Also I didn’t want my old haunt to see me walk past and cross the road to the other cafe).

The lady remembered me. Still I got a medium. Still it was $4.00.

And as I walked back, holding this heavy full to the rim coffee, I took in a sip…

And it was MAGNIFICENT.

In fact it was so good, to the point that when I got back to my desk, the coffee strength and flavour made me all jittery and weak in its caffeinated fabulousness.

Coffee so great, it altered me. It moved me.

Back to the old haunt it is… ☕️☕️☕️

#983 Holding out

I kind of made a realisation today. The kind that helps you, to keep hanging on.

It has been an interesting two years.

I say that with happiness, utmost respect, yet also, supreme diplomacy.

Our life has been turned upside down in these past two years. Things have gotten interesting, and things have also gotten harder.

There have been many times where I have had to remind myself, and Hubbie, that this is a passing phase.

ALL of life is. Nothing will ever stay the same, for too long. Give it an absolute max of about 2 years. At the most. Something always shifts.

I remember when I was pregnant, and Hubbie and I were sharing my car to get to work. I’d be standing at the bus station, waiting for this highly unpredictable mode of transport to arrive (anytime, sometime that decade) and muttering ‘when will I be able to drive without waiting again?’

Now, we have our own cars.

I remember the nights of holding a crying and unsettled baby girl. I would stand in her dark room, only the hallway light illuminating the space from the slightly ajar door, thinking of my work colleagues.

I would imagine them sleeping. They would go to work all refreshed after their 7-8 hours sleep, and enjoy the morning cafe-ing away.

(I told them that too, after I came back from my maternity leave.)

I remember staring out the window of our old place, wondering if I would ever have a view that showed me something other than trees and brick houses. A nature strip that wasn’t littered with other people’s cars. Neighbours that actually slept at midnight in the middle of the week.

Now… my wildest dreams have been succeeded. My view is that of the water. I watch the sunset go down over it. No one is even close in our front of house vicinity, and the only time I hear the neighbours is occasionally post 4pm when the primary school kids start practicing with their basketball.

My how things change.

And it seems to happen, in about 2 year phases. We’ve had some things bugging us for a little while… but what I realised today, is that our 2 years are almost up. We are almost there. Nothing ever lasts forever, and that accounts for not only the best times, in order to keep you humble…

But it accounts for the hard ones too. To lift you up and help you keep going when things feel too difficult.

So today, I am grateful. For hanging on. For holding out.

Because I can seriously feel it in the air. We are almost, there.

 

#982 Friendship and roses

Tending to friendships, and tending to roses, is much the same.

Your approach to the task, and the love you give to both, give you comparable results.

When you water your roses, provide them with ample sunlight and food for nourishment… they BLOOM.

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Likewise with friendships. If you tend to them, pay attention and visit often, spending your time with them even at the inconvenience of other things… it will pay dividends.

You will have made yourself, a friend.

Today I visited a friend. A work colleague who is currently on maternity leave with her adorable 3 month-old son.

Oh what a gorgeous chubby-cheeked stage he is at.

It had required some effort and planning to make it work as she lives an hour away from me, but alas with both of us throwing up possible dates and times, we finally decided on today. I could stop by on my own after dropping off baby girl at kinder, and we’d have a couple of hours together before I had to go back to pick her up.

I didn’t give that much thought. Until her partner spoke up.

He had asked me where I had come from, and when I said my suburb, he piped up –

“All the way from there?” He turned to my work colleague. “That’s a great friend! Oh, I’m just passing Victoria…” we all had a chuckle and then the subject passed.

But those words stayed in my mind.

“You’re a great friend.”

Without wanting to blow my own horn… I had to agree with him.

You know there are days when you doubt yourself and your abilities, and taking a compliment is something akin to dragging your knees crawling across asphalt.

But in the kindest and most humblest of ways… I am.

I AM a great friend. When I see someone open up to me, trust me with their heart, their secrets and give me loyalty in every sense of the friendship term… I give it back.

When I see someone try with me, make effort in my life, and want to be present in it… I embrace them wholeheartedly and put them firmly in my circle.

When I find a kindred spirit, a like mind, someone who is honest and free and just wants to make the best and most positive time out of life… I hold on tight to them.

As long as they are as willing as I am, I will be there for them, always.

I give as much as I take. I will go to depths and reaches for a friend, to support them and to stay by their side through thick and thin.

And if they don’t appreciate me, or they take my friendship for granted… well that is not my loss, only theirs.

Today, it was the nicest compliment I have received lately. And after much pondering, I took it.

I looked at my roses this afternoon, observing them after I had come home with baby girl from kinder pick-up. I had spent as much time on the road driving up and then back to my side of town, as I had with my friend meeting her little bub.

But like my roses, I had to give her time. I had to give her attention. I had to give her goodwill and love, and then, like my roses, our friendship grew more.

But the key thing about friendship as well: you shouldn’t HAVE TO. You should want to.

And I really wanted to.

And when you give your roses all the food, water and sunlight that they need, when you tend to them and prune them and even spend time staring at them and smelling their sweet scents…

It makes them all the more prepared for the storms. For the rain. For the wind, and for the hellish weather that can sometimes unleash on their pretty petals.

And you will know that you have prepared them well, when they are still standing after it all.

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Take a page out of my book. We beat ourselves up too often. What is a lovely thing you can say about yourself? What are you best at, and what makes you an amazing person? ♥♥♥

 

#853 Open to the ‘signs’

Call it hilarious. Call it timely. Call it freaky. Call it coincidental.

No, don’t call it coincidental. There are no such things.

But with all of the emphasis I have been placing lately on signs… like the post I wrote last week where the psychic asked me that very telling and bone-chillingly accurate question as if he were reading my mind… then the other day I posted this on Instagram:

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And I was feeling like the world keeps asking me, checking and confirming from me, the very same thing.

And now, like right now. I am doing a late shift at work. I walk into the kitchen to get my dinner ready. I see a lady who is in another department – we don’t see each other often, but when we do, she always wants to hear about baby girl.

And her second question to me, immediately after the one asking how old she is now, is:

“Now I hope you are writing down this stage of life for her – because when it is over, that’s it.”

I smiled, my mind in disbelief. “Yes, I am quite good at recording these things,” I said with a grin.

And then we went on to talk about their grown up phrases, and I told her that baby girl had said to me on my way to work this evening

“Have a good day at work Mum!” and “Take care!” –

the exact two things I was originally going to post about for my gratitude today, my love for her humorous and so grown-up phrases.

Damn. Why do people keep asking me about writing?

I think the Universe is asking, because it wants an answer. It wants to know if I am legit or not.

It wants to know, what I have to say.

#852 Sweet reminiscings, and bittersweet goodbyes

Sugar prevailed today.

Some was of a transient quality, the kind you get when you visit a place you used to frequent often, a long long time ago.

That is a rather poetic way of saying that I caught up with my parents in a shopping centre on the other side of town. I used to go there fairly regularly, and I swear I don’t know what it is, but I miss the shopping centres on my old side of town so much. The three I used to alternate between visiting had a variety of shops, gave me a different experience at each one, and also, all three were relatively close compared to my now 40 minute drive to either Southland or Chadstone.

Of course, once there, coffee was in order.

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Like I said. Reminiscently sweet.

🙂

And then I had one of my last late, late work shifts tonight, because well, someone will be taking over the reigns soon, THANK GOD. No more driving home post 1am. But this night held something else over good riddance to crappy late shifts… a dear work colleague who I have worked with for the past 8 years, well tonight was her last shift… before starting the most important job of her life – becoming a Mum.

To see her off properly, again, sugar.

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There was cake galore, some brought in by her, some brought in by me. I decided to eat it all at once, but then I didn’t know if the ill feeling was from overconsumption, or the realisation I wouldn’t be seeing her anymore at work past tonight.

😦

Sweets that help us remember, and sweets that help us to pay tribute. Their unifying theme is the moment of gratitude we hold when we look back in appreciation and understanding… that things change, people move on, and people move away… but we can still remember these things fondly and hold them dear to our hearts…

Keeping the memories sweet in our hearts. ♥

 

#823 An afternoon with Dead Poets

It was the perfect day…

It was cold.

It was dreary.

I was under the weather.

I had a sore throat.

I was tired.

I was uninspired.

And all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball…

Yes, it WAS the perfect day…

To stay in and watch a movie.

The combination of wintery conditions, and a tired mind and body meant it was ideal weather to just curl up on the couch with a tea and watch something for a couple of hours while baby girl was at kinder.

The only problem was, I couldn’t quite curl up on the couch, as the DVD player in that room has started playing up. I couldn’t put in a DVD loaned to me by a work colleague, with the risk that it wouldn’t come out, much like the current scenario and baby girl’s Moana being lost in there?

So I improvised.

I went into her play room… grabbed her bean bag… brought her small art-y table close by to me, and plopped into the player Dead Poets Society.

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I think it’s been in my hands for at least 6 months. Maybe even close to a year. I seriously can’t remember. I know he didn’t expect me to return it immediately, but at the same time he doesn’t talk to me much anymore so maybe he thinks he’s lost it for good.

Oh LOLS. If there’s one thing I am, it’s an elephant. I don’t forget. I don’t keep people’s things.

I needed some thoughts of inspiration and meaning. I sat with my tea and a cherry Danish on the table beside me (alongside baby girl’s own tea set)…

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And proceeded to get lost in a fine work of art by one of my favourite actors, Robin Williams, for the next two hours.

It was certainly an interesting film. It made me want to read more poetry. It made me want to go and live life to the fullest even more than I already try to do.

Robin Williams’ teacher character tells his students that they are little more than worms to feed the earth in future years, leading to his main statement:

Carpe Diem.

Seize the day. Make the most of what time you have. Live your passion. Don’t follow the path well travelled – forge your own. Love and the Arts are notable pursuits.

And one of my many fave quotes of his from the film:

“No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.”

It was a sweet, funny and passionate movie, but one also starkly true and grim about life’s pressures, taking a sad and horrific turn right near the end, leaving me going “No!” I didn’t just spend the last two hours of slowly-building inspiration for this?

But then there was the promise of something learnt, of not all lost… of Hope… and that reminded me of my own book, where I pretty much do the exact same thing.

It was a lovely afternoon which I spent not doing much at all. In a week where I have felt bombarded and overwhelmed in all avenues of my life, with just too much going on all at once, I needed a moment, an hour or two, to not tend to any of those things… and just take some time out, to do my own thing.

To find inspiration and the meaning of life again.

To remember where I am.

And to remind myself of where I am going.

 

 

 

#783 I’m coming home

I realised just a short time ago that I left the house for work today at 7:30am.

I got home after that same day’s work, at 7:30pm.

It was purely of my own doing. I only left so early today because I didn’t want baby girl to hear me leaving home and get upset, so I made sure to leave at a time I was sure she’d still be sleeping, and then spent the first 90 minutes of my work day eating weetbix, reading emails, writing, and looking at ‘coming soon’ movies online, before my shift ‘officially’ started.

And it was a good day, but a long one. It was intense and pressure-fuelled, but I had a great work colleague to coffee and muffin with, and also to assist with some work-related duties too 🙂

And yet, as I jumped into my car and soon entered the freeway, joining the endless array of cars also cruising down the M1, I had the biggest sense of relief as the weight that was today, started to lift off of me.

I was coming home 🙂