Today things felt more real.
I had my first hospital appointment via phone, due to the new world, covid, all that.
Speaking to a midwife was interesting. We went through my medical history, my previous pregnancy, and things that had happened since, emotionally and physically.
It’s been a long time since I’ve gone through this. 9 years to be exact. Some processes are the same, same are different.
Being asked over the phone, “are you alone?” and then subsequently followed with “have you ever feared for your life?” is a question I can definitely say I wasn’t asked back then.
My answers to these deeply personal questions were a resounding no – and yet I felt a deep sadness that there are women out there who might pause, and whisper the affirmative.
There are still the breastfeeding consultants, of which I will try and take advantage of, all going well. Then there are the maternity classes, again which I will refresh with, because 9 years, and also, different hospital.
It’s nerve-wracking. It’s exciting. Scans and blood tests and appointments, it’s all starting to ramp up.
Tonight I saw my extended family for a birthday, and there was more rubbing of my tummy. I honestly don’t mind, as long as it’s not a total stranger, I love it. 🥰
People are guessing gender. People are guessing potential names. Soon I’ll do a proper spreadsheet and get people to guess the date of birth and gender so that they can win a prize. 😂🏆
I’m taking it all in, appreciating all the parts of pregnancy, even when I turn and then have to turn again in bed, again and again, swapping from side to side, but doing it so gingerly because my body is acting like it’s 7 months pregnant already. 🤦♀️😁
The most beautiful thing was the midwife confirming to me that yes, I am probably feeling baby’s movements already like I said I am, as you can feel them much earlier in subsequent pregnancies than you can in your first. She said it’s not the frequency of the flutters, but the pattern, when in the day you usually feel them.
When I’m sitting in a propped up position is when I feel it best, when I feel it most, and every morning when I wake and sip my water, it must send a jolt to baby, because I get a small thud.
And now as I type this in bed, propped up, guess what I can faintly feel?
Tap, tap, tap.