#1306 My Writing Zone

I find myself there often at the moment.

In the zone. The writing zone.

With so much of life’s busy-ness out of the way (a misnomer for sure, as life is always busy, I just feel like a lot of stuff that was holding me up has moved away for the time being) I am dedicating more and more of my time to writing.

Novel writing. Journal writing. Course writing. Blog writing.

Writing writing writing.

I am trying to keep myself focused. Hubbie brought it to my attention a couple weeks ago that I tend to get restless and move away from that which I have set my sights on… instead of staying with it and being patient, no matter what IT is, I tend to get side-tracked and start looking at other things to do, other things to busy myself.

I am trying to look at the bigger picture. The bigger novel picture.

I am enjoying my days. Sure a portion of it is spent in front of my computer. Sure I make myself sit and write and edit and learn, even if it’s sunny out and it hasn’t been that way for so long (I make up my inside time by going out later and doing something like, I don’t know, weeding?). 😉

Even when I step away from the story, it is in my head. I am going through it, dissecting this, dissecting that. Getting ideas for other novels, and so on. My creative juices and excitement for it are at an all-time high, and I am loving it.

I AM LOVING IT.

green-chameleon-s9CC2SKySJM-unsplash

Photo by Green Chameleon on Unsplash

 

#1200 5 years

1200 posts of gratitude, a crap load on my parent blog SmikG, and it all started when… ?

Screenshot_20190529-223622

YAY! This blogging journey on WordPress started 5 years ago, and all after I read a book…

How wonderful these pages bound together in a unified spine can be 🙂

#989 The f*&king application

I sat at my desk today, trying to write.

Here is my desk:

IMAG4780

Hold on. Let’s take a closer look, shall we…

IMAG4779

Yep. It was that kind of day.

I had held off on a to-do list item for a while now. And it wasn’t just ANY to-do list item. It was a writing one, one that involved applying for a writing course that I was hoping to put concerted effort into if approved – not only because it was a long-held passion of mine, but because I had to find something to do next year when my 11-year job came to a halt.

In applying for this course, I had to write a cover letter detailing the stage and progress of my novel, as well as include 1500 words of prose.

But, what would I write?

“Uh, so I wrote this book, about 20,000 words too long. And then I sent it out to agents with no luck, so I kept re-writing, and then I got it down (slightly), but then by that stage I had a baby.

I totally went off the ‘pitching book to agent phase’ because you know, said BABY and all, and then found another avenue to express my love of writing – in blogging.

And you know blogging is sooo much easier. No one is there correcting my work or telling me I can’t get published. I write what I like, and when I hit post, the whole world gets to see what I’ve written, whether they like it or not, think it is smart or not, and whether they agree with me or not.

But I really need to get my head out of the sand and start doing something with my novel, hence why I am here. SO. PLEASE. HELP. Accept me into this course before I start yet another blog.”

Or, something like that. Like, how could I actually put into words the last 6 years of my writing life?

I did my damn best. I put something together, I was honest, I added the words “cringe” (because I really was cringing as I put it all together) and prayed that it would be received well.

How horrible would it be to actually be rejected for a writing course? Like can you imagine… you want to pay someone a considerable amount of money to teach you stuff, and they go “no sorry, we don’t want you to pay us.”

Shudder.

To their benefit, the programme wants to make sure that the level you are writing at is best suited to their course, or else they can suggest something else for you. They don’t want to waste your money, which is actually admirable.

Still, I need help. And today I was so glad and grateful that I finally got around to writing those few pesky letters and emails I was putting off for so long, because I couldn’t actually put down in words, what I had been doing with words, all these years.

But I got there… and I hope that I actually, get there.

#975 Baking: blueberry lemon cake

I haven’t baked in a little while, purely for the purpose of ‘just ’cause,’ for AGES. Back in August my mass baking was of an intentional and event-based nature, so when I came across some mouth-watering recipes last week, I decided to schedule in my very own baking day.

I think it was all the more enjoyable because baby girl was at kindergarten. I do enjoy when she is in the kitchen with me… I love that she is curious, that she wants to help, and her sheer excitement at the prospect of the finished product. I also want her to appreciate the cooking process, the effort that goes into making things, so that she may appreciate eating, and the food itself more, since she knows where it came from.

But at the same time, as a Mum… sometimes you just wanna get shit done.

You just want to go at your own pace. No constant questions of

“can I mix?”

“can I add?”

“can I taste?”

“can I put this in?”

Just me and MY kitchen. Putting mess and bowls and utensils and drips of batter, wherever the bloody hell I like.

After a couple of hours from start to finish, I got something like this:

IMAG4580

Do you think I got close? 😉

IMAG4584

I am being cheeky, sure. Yes I created it almost spot-on to the recipe photo, and even styled the kitchen magazine-style in the process (check the cake under the dome).

IMAG4586

But the MOST important question… how did it actually taste?
IMAG4592

Well I can tell you this: it wasn’t to my taste at first. It had a definite tangy flavour, what with all that zest and lemon juice in the batter. Which is fine, but then there was the addition of so much extra virgin olive oil, which led to a superbly moist but rich cake.

The berry layer was made from scratch with real blueberries, but the cream was not so… creamy. In fact, light cream cheese was required instead, which made it slightly biting… however this was not too bad in its small quantity in contrast against the lemony cake and mild blueberry jam.

I didn’t expect Hubbie to like it… but he did. He actually enjoyed it. And being a fussier food critic than I, SmikG the food blogger, well that was a massive tick in my book. √

#932 The Paper cleanse

Maybe it’s because I am a writer, that I hoard so much paper.

IMAG3722

This was the scene earlier today when I was at home and at peace, going through piles and piles of stuff that has been accumulating in random drawers and buffets and shelves, all stowed away for ‘another day.’

And that’s not even all of it.

I have this insane need to keep things and have them documented. It’s part of the reason why I write. I journal. I keep a blog. I have this gratitude blog. And I also keep lots of little bits and pieces, info and notes and documents, all for the ‘what if’ day I need them.

What if?

There’s something else you may not know about me. I have kept EVERY SINGLE CARD I have ever received. Yep. Every one. Birthdays, Christmas, Easter (yep even random Easter cards for the very few that have ever handed them out) special occasions, even ALL of Hubbie and Baby Girl’s cards… ALL OF THEM. They’re in shoeboxes scattered all over the place. And although I will probably forever keep those given to me by my sister, parents and Hubbie, I have been thinking of going through the piles, scanning the cards onto my laptop, and then throwing the paper versions out.

It quenches my need to keep sentimental items, yet also serves the purpose of culling and throwing that I equally yearn for.

Because I really do. As much as I keep things, boy do I love when my throw pile grows bigger and bigger. That is what happened today, in the above photo. I sat in the middle of the room, and started to piece through bit by bit, finding homes for some things, and for others…

BIN!

I have gained an immense amount of satisfaction from just this task today, and that gives me gratitude to no end. Because I have tackled a task that has been nagging me, not just since we moved here, but one that’s been bugging me for years. Years of lack of storage. Years of lack of time. Years of lack of resources. Just years of not being in the right space and time and capacity to sift and throw and itemise, but today, today I was finally going through all those piles and hacking them to pieces.

It feels soooo good.

Most of my stuff now has a home. And the other stuff now lives in my bin.

Ahhh. To be continued tomorrow… 🙂

 

#841 What he said no. 3

I walked out of the lounge room later this evening. Hubbie called out after me.

“Can you bring back my phone? I wanna read your gratitude blog.”

:):):)

This made me smile for more than simply egotistic reasons. I had told him recently that I was frustrated. I had no one to talk to, share with, and bounce feedback off about my blogs, my writings… it was making me feel antsy, disenchanted, and lonely.

Sure, there are people out there that read them. But I am realistic. Unless you are a writer yourself, you don’t tend to passionately follow these kinds of pursuits to the point where you are offering feedback and analytical critique. It is just not your natural forte.

And I get it. Really I do. But when I see that my sad stories get a rise out of people, I have to wonder…

Why do you ask me about something bad, rather than maybe, how I came to do this in the first place? Aren’t you interested in my passion? Or is it only interesting when life goes wrong for me?

It’s a sad day when you feel as if you aren’t getting the support you need amongst supposedly ‘supportive’ followers.

I told Hubbie I needed to get out there and network. I had to meet other like-minded individuals. I had to get these feelings and thoughts and ideas out of me, and into a sphere of people who would nod their head in understanding, rather than stare at me like I’d just said “goo goo ga ga.”

“Talk to me!” Hubbie had said earlier today. “The way I tell you about my cars and music stuff, you can tell me anything you want about your writing.”

And not only is that invitation open, but his new routine will be actually reading my blog posts.

Let’s see how long this lasts 😉

And even if it doesn’t, just the fact that I am supported by someone who truly has my back…

It is priceless.

#800 Milestone and sunset

It’s “whoop whoop” time! That’s because today we hit another milestone, that of the

8-0-0 kind.

:):):)

And to celebrate, Mother Nature put on a beautiful sunset for me.

IMAG0422

Awww. Thanks love ♥

Out of curiosity, how are you finding this blog? Do you find it inspires you with its positivity, or do you find it frustrating, perhaps a bit too rose-coloured glasses like for you?

Please, honesty. I would appreciate it immensely as I’ve been tossing up things in my head as of late… is there anything you would like me to explore, or write about?

Thanks for reading and sticking around XOXO